I am not a typical Grandparent. I fall into a category of a Grandparent that is helping to raise her Grandchildren, that makes me a statistic. You add to this that my home is also their home and it throws in a whole new dynamic. I never wanted to be a statistic. It has taken me almost two years to grieve over the loss of what I thought being a Grandparent should be. My daughter and I joke about me being her other half, the reality is I am never going to be able to be her other half. I can't give her the love she craves or the security she needs for her and the children.
My daughter told me something the other day and it has changed my way of thinking....I am my Grand children's other half. I am with them everyday, helping to raise them. When my daughter is at work they are either with me or at school. My daughter and I have faced our share difficult days of not seeing eye to eye on discipline but I am learning. We have become a strong unit for the kids and I am able to sit back letting her be the Mom when she is home. Anyone who knows me, this is a BIG thing!
I am seeing how as parents we grow up with our children and we settle into whatever age they are in. It is hard to go back to those hard places, when you have settled with being done with having young children around. Memories flood back when you are in the midst of a 3 year old's tantrum or a 7 year old's attitude. You start to remember what worked and what didn't. It makes you feel so worn out.
One of the things that I don't do well anymore is loud. I can only put up with it for so long, even the TV gets loud. I have to constantly remind myself that kids just need to be loud at times and I don't tune things out well. I seriously just want to scream and most of the time that is what I do on the inside. I look forward to the quiet of the mornings and the quietness that comes when everyone is fast asleep. I can finally think, finish a sentence or even a conversation!
In sharing today I just want others that might be facing the same thing that you aren't alone. It does get better because I am finally seeing it! It just takes time, more time than some of us would like. Let's all just hold on for a bit more and see how far we can go.