tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-254233662024-03-13T22:02:23.558-07:00ColorfulMomentsMy life as I see it, colorful and forever changing.Juelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06488949719399889290noreply@blogger.comBlogger337125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25423366.post-14150562195838380462016-10-17T18:15:00.000-07:002016-10-17T18:16:49.055-07:00Sometimes days go by without you being able to say a word. Then those days turn into months and you finally have things to say but you just don't know where to even start since the beginning seems so far away. <br />
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My heart is tender overlooking this past year. The struggles against what is right and good versus the horrible things going on in the world. I've watched as my son came home from being away for 9 months, the joys of the holidays with family and friends, only to be reminded how short life is by loosing my husbands father, one of my parents getting sicker and a dear Grandparent passing away. You slow down long enough to take those deep breathes, only to go back to trying to hold yourself together. Somewhere along the line you realize that it has been along time since you have truly felt joy. Maybe deep down you are afraid if you feel it something is going to happen that will take it away. So you remain inside yourself trying to come to terms with your chronic pain and trying to manage it. You fall down some stairs receiving lots of bruises and it takes you over 6 months to feel whole again, still the chronic pain is there. In this time your Granny services are needed to watch the Grands for the summer, it is a good time and continues as your daughter's life takes a turn. You now, make the best of each day balancing peace with your surroundings. Oh and it isn't easy, some days you just want to crawl under a rock but then that would mean you would be more alone than you already feel.<br />
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There are a few things that have saved me from my own destruction; spending time with beloved as limited as it is right now, getting to know my son's sweetheart as she is living with us right now(she has also helped my loneliness), taking care of my Grands full time(it is so different this time around) and my art in all it's forms. I have also had a change happen in myself, which I am realizing is so peaceful that is a strange feeling. I'm so glad it has taken place. <br />
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When I started to watch my Grands my daughter wanted me to not feel taken advantage of so she pays me a modest amount a month. I decided right away that I would use my new found dollars to help my spending habits, by purchasing an artwork piece from a very dear friend. The piece that spoke to me was this beautiful Wise Owl.....she has changed me, brought me a peace that I thought I would never see. She sits quietly as I look at her, nodding gently, giving me a sense of knowing what the next step is. I have never had a piece of artwork touch me so much as this except for a few of the pieces I have created.<br />
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So I'm embracing everything I have learned this past year and moving forward in whatever that means for me. Thanks for checking in and sticking around! <br />
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25423366.post-88932456590333626482015-10-06T12:15:00.000-07:002015-10-06T12:15:05.705-07:00It goes so fastThe weekend started when my husband and I took our last big road trip of the year in our Corvette with the Spokane Corvette Club. We weren't sure what the weather was going to be like since it started raining the night before. We knew we would go anyway, since it was a club event and we had help working out the drive itself.<br />
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We headed out from Spokane, WA and ended in Bonner's Ferry, ID. I promised myself I would unplug, something I am trying to do more of. I found myself not even taking pictures of the surroundings that were at times breathe taking. <br />
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It also had a lot to do with the large group we ended up traveling with, 32 cars for the whole drive. We scheduled meet up places in a couple of different cities so we could all regroup. I think the most favorite thing in doing this, is seeing people's reactions when you are in a parking lot together or just driving in a long caravan. You really end up meeting a lot of different people and getting into some wonderful conversations.<br />
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This summer was also about our clubs event Glass on Grass, held at Riverfront Park in Spokane. Again it is a day of hanging out visiting with the community and enjoying every ones company. This photo is of one of the cars at the event; 1964 Convertible, pretty sweet!<br />
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One of the other fun things we got a chance to do is to participate in the Spokane's Torch Light Parade as part of the Make A Wish Group. We had 7 cars and each of us was able to take 2 children. It helped me to feel yet again that having a Corvette isn't just about having it but about putting smiles on people's faces! You can't put a price tag on that. Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25423366.post-66984044605972497392015-10-03T20:24:00.000-07:002015-10-03T20:24:39.976-07:00Fun findsThe beginning of the summer is always marked with heading out to Farm Chicks. It is probably one of my most favorite things to do. This year I wasn't really looking for anything but I found a few things I can't wait to put to use!<br />
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Each year is themed and I love that. This year it was about scouting, for just the perfect items. My fun finds included: A framed piece with handmade flowers, special linens for tote bags, buttons, scrabble tile pieces and two old bank money bags. I think they each will make nice bags for marbles.<br />
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I've collected marbles for years, these however are my sons. I think it might be time for me to take pictures of my stash. I remember playing marble games with neighborhood kids, that is when I lost my favorite shooter. Marbles were also something simple and small that if I went on a trip I could bring home as small gifts to my children. They also make wonderful stocking stuffers, to fit down inside the toes! <br />
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25423366.post-63247581480399753822015-10-02T13:53:00.001-07:002015-10-02T13:53:27.907-07:00A few changesSo the month of June in this house marked a big milestone we have been working on for a year. We got our major stuff moved from the garage to the new shed my sister in law helped us build last summer. This meant a big thing for me, I got the old little shed for my stuff. Okay, so I knew I had a lot of stuff but it was all spread out so I didn't think I would actually fill the dang thing. Yep, well I was wrong and I now see myself as someone who does not need to buy a thing.<br />
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My sister in law also moved into her new house so the spare bedroom is now the Grands/Guest room. It is also coming together nicely. The first time we had the Grands over, they were so very excited to have their very own place to play. Everyone was quiet and playing nicely together. We also had a special visitor one night, our little Sage, who isn't so little anymore. It is so much fun putting this room together for them. <br />
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It has taken a lot to move from caregiver to where I am now. While my feelings of being a Granny are somewhat new I can tell you that it is wonderful. It just so fun to be with each of them. Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25423366.post-67725041471388880372015-10-01T16:05:00.002-07:002015-10-02T13:55:01.278-07:00A new understanding<br />
In February of this year my Son went on an adventure to Blackburn England, he would be gone for 10 months. It has been hard, sometimes ugly for me. We have all heard the statement; you never know what you have until it is gone. That is what happened to me.<br />
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My Son is the last child at home, so I chalked it up as empty nesting issues. For the first three months I lost sleep, cried loads, and ran away from myself. It wasn't until I lost a large sum of money somewhere in my house(and still haven't found), that I woke up to realize what was happening. Once I embraced my loss I have been able to move forward. I know I haven't really lost my Son but in letting go not only am I growing but he is too.<br />
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Here's the thing; when he was little I never wanted him to be considered a Momma's boy. You see it in the movies and in real life, the Mother that doesn't want to let go of her Son. It can turn ugly and instead of growing into the man he is suppose to be he shrivels under the weight of his Mother. I didn't want him to be that young man or for me to be that Mother.<br />
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We did normal Mother/Son stuff, snuggles before our day started, the park, movies, video games and coffee dates from the time he was born into now adulthood. We fought over stupid things, we both hate change but somehow embrace it. I remember the first time he asked me if he could hang out with his guy friends instead of with me. He even had done all of his chores. I knew right there that our lives were changing. I however clung to knowing I would always be the one he loved first. <br />
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Once we crossed into an adult, adult relationship instead of parent, child relationship the feelings I have for him have gotten stronger. He is one of the most incredible people I know and I am more thankful for him now than I have ever been. The strong bond of love that I have for him, hit me hard and has been a sweet surprise.<br />
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So today is the first of October, my favorite time of year. It has taken me more than a week to write this post simply because it is an emotional one. Today also marks 21 days until my wonderful son comes home. For my birthday he told me he was coming home early. To say that I'm just a little excited would be an understatement. Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25423366.post-54062330629643962032015-05-06T21:39:00.000-07:002015-09-16T07:43:50.253-07:00ForgottenWhen I went to Brave Girl Camp September 2014 I went with not knowing what to expect but receiving everything I needed. As I walked around the beautiful property I was met with the messages that would touch my soul. This one of the first ones.......<br />
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I realized then, that the time we had been helping our Daughter and Grands start a new life, that I had felt forgotten. I hadn't really wanted to face the way I had been feeling because I was viewing it as being selfish. I wasn't good at communicating what I needed in the beginning because I didn't want my daughter to be burdened with one more thing. I was the Momma I should be able to take care of me in the midst of taking care of everyone else. Why do we do this to ourselves? We need others to take care of us too and not just when we are sick.<br />
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The thing is there is being taken care of and taking care of ourselves. We have to love ourselves enough to do something for ourselves that refuel us when we are empty. I spent a lot of the time when we were helping our Daughter empty. I couldn't focus on much but trying to get through the day. Oh how, I have family that loves me, even in my rotten days. I know I didn't have all rotten days but I wish now I would have just stood up and said from the beginning....Please see me, show me that I am not forgotten. Help me to take care of myself. Push me out the door with a book or my sketch book, to go sit in a quiet place without guilt. I just couldn't find the words anywhere in myself for a long time to give myself permission to not be okay. I did want to be doing what I was because that is one of the things I do best. I just forgot about me.<br />
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So my friends, whoever your are, Don't Forget About You. Take care of you at all costs so you can be a better Momma, Wife, Daughter and Friend. Trust me, when you take care of yourself I think you will be reminded why you are so Awesome. Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25423366.post-39963928501120565062015-04-23T13:47:00.001-07:002015-04-23T13:47:27.373-07:00I promised I would share about Brave Girl Camp so hear I go.....<br />
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September 2014, I went to Brave Girl Camp, it was a 50th birthday present to myself since it fell on my birthday. I went with no expectations and knowing I would enjoy myself. I was so relaxed that sleep came easy. The friendships that were forged I am sure will be in my life in one form or another forever. Everyone that was there spoke into my life in one form or another, probably when they didn't even know it was happening.<br />
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The attention to detail that the staff gave to everything you put your hands to was incredible. From signs all around the property, to each meal or snack. It was wonderful to be pampered and not to have to do dishes. Most of all I felt so much love! That kind of love helps you to truly love and forgive yourself, to keep moving forward. It really is a glorious thing!<br />
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So when I came home I didn't want to share with anyone for a long time. I needed to sit with it for a while and just allow it all to become part of me. I was happy and content for the first time in such a long time. I finally felt at peace with myself and everything going on around me. It makes me happy that still over six months past camp and I still feel the same way as when I came home. For me this is something that was life changing. I'm looking forward to going again, when I don't know but I am sure that God's got it all worked out already. I just have to keep allowing Him to guide my path. Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25423366.post-90349692437335592382015-03-29T11:04:00.002-07:002015-03-29T11:06:10.066-07:00GrowingSometimes I feel alone even when I know that I am not. Countless people have told me over the last years that I isolate myself and am silent. I've learned to embrace this flaw in myself, if you want to call it that. I wish I could help people to understand to not take it so personally. It is what I choose because sometimes, I can't take one more thing on, emotionally or mentally. I have even pushed my own self away - not connecting because I don't want to see what might be underneath.<br />
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My life has been my children. I have never allowed myself to think on or about the time without them. When they would be all on their own, living their own lives. It was to painful for me to look at. People call it being an empty nester, I call it an empty me. There was a time I would look at it everyday but that ended up being one of the things that threw me into depression. Loosing sight of what was really important, the beautiful faces in my everyday. <br />
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Now before everyone starts with, oh you are enough, you get this time to yourself, its a new chapter, a time for you and your hubby. I so get that! However, I have needed to reinvent myself in a way to give myself permission to take care of me. No worrying about family, my kids and even my Grands. Focusing on me. I am not going to apologize to anyone for starting to take this time for me.<br />
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For the first time in such a long time I am content. I don't feel a sadness when I think of my children. I can look at my life as a mother and rejoice in the lives I have raised. While being gone from this world, is still something I can't look at completely without some anxiety, it is getting better. Which means I am growing, that is all I have ever wanted for myself. Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25423366.post-83340187668428867432014-10-21T08:54:00.001-07:002015-03-21T16:06:15.201-07:00A journeyMy journey hasn't been easy the last couple of years. I have shared bits and pieces of my struggles but ya, know what? I was doing a pretty good job of hiding from myself, while hiding from others. When you see yourself for who you really are it is almost like you see yourself as a fraud. I can surely preach or give my advice to just about anyone but when it comes to doing it for myself...ya whole other story. Boy, am I good with stories, especially the ones I make up in my head! Do you create stories in your head? You might find this <a href="http://bravegirlsclub.com/archives/23289">POST</a> enlightening. I know I did when I heard the concept at Brave Girls Camp when I went in September! <br />
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See this year marks my 50th birthday and I chose this year to take care of myself in every area. Learning to say "NO" when I wanted to say "YES" because I truly didn't want to let anyone down. You would think after 30 years of learning this concept I would actually know how to do it without pain to myself. I am a peacemaker and well peacemakers are about creating other peoples peace not one's own. Sometimes, we allow people to walk on us like a doormat and before we know it we are dirty with everyone dirty and grim.<br />
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Seriously it is hard to say "NO" and it makes my soul hurt. Then something happens, you see that their is a bigger plan in play than you ever thought possible. That is what I LOVE seeing and hearing about. So I am going to try to remember that my "NO" might just be a "YES" for another person.<br />
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25423366.post-37919443821286024602014-07-25T09:03:00.002-07:002014-07-25T09:03:21.583-07:00Celebrate LifeThis past June I celebrated my 30th wedding Anniversary. Sometimes it is seriously hard to realize that we have been together for that long. In my mind I can still see us as young parents running after our children, then I see them. Growing old use to scare me and to be honest it still does at times. I guess now, I am just learning that life is all to short to be caught up in the worrying about stuff. God doesn't want us to do that anyway. <br />
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My husband gave me a very special gift for our Anniversary, a beautiful
2003 Cobalt Blue Corvette. For 25 years he has always asked what kind
of car I have wanted. Bright blue, a two seater(so
we don't have to take anyone with us) and I wanted to be able to go
fast. Truth be told I didn't think he would remember my idea of a dream
car but it is safe to say he got it spot on! I have named her Charlie after her former owner, our brother in law Chuck Reece who lost his fight with cancer this past spring. <br />
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So today I am going to enjoy life. I am going to choose to not get caught up in the what ifs. I will enjoy the sun on my face, the light breeze I feel across my cheeks and a good drive in my new car. My friend Goog died this past week suddenly of a stroke and she will never feel those things again. I want to make sure I don't take things for granted, life is to short for regrets. So here's to you Chuck Reece and Goog......I will drive with the top down for you because it looks like it is going to be a good day for it!<br />
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25423366.post-70414073799312615672014-07-19T20:34:00.001-07:002014-07-19T20:34:20.779-07:00Be GentleWhere have I been? Taking care of little ole me, which I promised myself I would do this year. <br />
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I have spent the last several months with a personal trainer and I am happy to report that my mind is changing towards serious exercise. I have had lower back issues for years, it has been increasing in pain for a few months. Showing itself in the form of nerve issues in my feet. Imagine having tons of little needles poking into the bottoms of your feet, then it leaves you with a burning tingling feeling or like you have little crawling things on your skin. A check up with my doctor found me going in for an xray. They found that I am having some arthritis in my lower back. I believe their is probably a bit more going on, since I have lost a half inch a year for the past couple of years. If their is nerve damage going on, nothing can really be done except for time for them to heal. Exercise is helping but doesn't relieve all the pain. I am getting stronger and just have to keep doing what I am doing to have relief. I am learning to be gentle with myself in every area of my life. It is hard when you are your own worst critic, who wants instant results.<br />
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So many changes have been happening and I promise to share more with you very soon! I just won't let two months go by before posting again. Please continue to come back! I do have so much to share with you as the fog is lifting from my heart. Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25423366.post-8020400628515167342014-05-20T21:46:00.004-07:002014-05-20T21:46:56.887-07:00LifeLife just keeps going, each day passes brings new life. When I made the decision last fall to have my hernia surgery I gave myself permission to take care of me. I haven't always done the best job of that...self care. Deciding to take this year to take care of me in all things hasn't been easy. Sometimes I am scared of the words that come from my mind so much so that I can push them away telling myself that I don't have time to think about them. The reality is in doing that I have hurt part of myself. It took me saying yes to self care to understand that. I have not wanted to face the disappointment I have had with myself in so many areas. I have realized though that if it wasn't well with my soul that there was going to be no way I could be okay with anything else in my life. Now I know their is no going back to change things but I can change where I am now. That is the kind of change that I am learning to be okay with. Somewhere the last couple of years I stopped choosing to be happy. It was like I was slowly drowning and I couldn't get any air no matter how much I knew I shouldn't take on other peoples stuff. How could I be happy if others around me weren't? I let so much effect everything in my life. Since my last post I feel like I am coming out of a deep fog. I can see things a little bit clearer now and life is getting ready to change again for me. All is good and I am learning what over flowing joy is all about. I'm doing my best to embrace it! I hope you will come back to visit. Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25423366.post-44204820511547762112014-04-07T08:29:00.000-07:002014-04-07T08:29:11.949-07:00PainYet again I learned a lesson the last couple of weeks about pain...if any of your teeth are hurting for any reason go to the dentist! <br />
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After my surgery in December my jaw joint was hurting like crazy. I chalked it up to being under pain, a little stress with the holidays and all the adjustments that have been being made to my schedule so far this year. Well, with face swelling and pain not going away, even with Tylenol it was time to do something. Dentist didn't even need to see me before he put me on antibiotics to make it through the weekend until I could get into seeing him the following week. A couple of x-rays later a root cancel was needed. They got into the damaged tooth only to find 2 more that needed to be done. So I can tell you this.....3 root cancels in one day isn't fun especially when it has to be taken care of through a crown. I wouldn't even wish it on my worst enemy! It turned out that some decay got underneath my crown so today marks the day I go in to have it replaced.<br />
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To all of this, you can add two of our cats needing to go in for dental surgery to have a few of their own teeth removed. Cats teeth actually will rot if they don't fall out and can start causing other issues. With our oldest Sneakers it showed up in bad scabs on his face. At least now they are happy cats, overly happy. <br />
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Tomorrow I meet with a personal trainer to work on getting in shape so I can just feel good all over. I sure hope everyone in the house remains healthy for the rest of the year!! Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25423366.post-62634839708659036512014-03-18T20:39:00.001-07:002014-03-18T20:39:15.954-07:00HealingIt sometimes takes so long to heal and it kind of reminds me of winter. Winter settles in, you wrap yourself up in a nice blanket and you wait to see the growth that is going on underneath. That is how it has been for me for such a long while. I have tried to force things but it comes back to me needing to slow down, waiting for my strength to return. Everyday I am taking steps to take care of myself. For for someone who has always taken care of others it is a big deal to me. I've never been good with saying no to people because it is in my nature to help others. Now it is time for me.<br />
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I started this past fall by taking a new Brave Girl class called Soul Comfort. It was such a good thing for me and it helped me to settle into taking care of myself. I didn't realize that I had almost forgotten what it was like. I have had to face how busy I have been with taking care of my Grands full time. While I love to do it most days and so glad they are part of my life I wasn't taking care of me.<br />
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The fall was followed by winter which is still surrounding Spokane with cold temperatures. Christmas was quiet for me as I was recovering from my surgery for my umbilical hernia, with very little baking taking place. I sat back and took care of me. It was some of the worst pain I have ever had. I depended so much on my family and they were right there making sure my every need was met. When everyone went back to work/school in January I actually had to remember how to make meals for myself. It took me about 2 weeks to get back into the swing of things. Slow going, when you aren't suppose to lift over 15 lbs. <br />
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I kept myself busy with working on two very special Quiet Books for my two youngest Grands. Loads of hand work!! I can say I perfected my blanket stitch!! As of today I am designing out the covers and will soon be putting the finishing touches on them! Soul Comfort ended and I was able to win a place in the new Brave Girls class called The Walk. I am learning so much about myself again and doing so more growing. This new year has also marked me moving to taking care of my Grands part time. My daughter has a wonderful man that is in love with her and the children. They are now blending their two families and expecting another little one come June.<br />
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This day I feel blessed and full. I don't like everything that is going on in the world but my world is good. Lots to look forward to, challenges to meet head on and people to love. Really, it can't get any better than that! Happy New Year everyone and thanks for sticking around! Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25423366.post-24373793944846445302013-12-23T16:23:00.000-08:002013-12-23T16:23:02.836-08:00I am alive and Merry ChristmasOh my friends and family how I have missed visiting with you. Rather than quilt myself into posting, to be a negative Nancy while I was posting, I chose to just rest and take care of myself. It has felt good so good to focus on taking care of me. As I write it, it seems awful selfish but trust me sometimes we have to be selfish when it comes to taking care of ourselves. I have been far to forgetful about myself for way to long.<br />
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I have been taking a new course by Melody Ross called Soul Comfort. We are encouraged to do hard things as well as easy things. My hard thing was to make a surgery date for my hernia. I am happy to say that surgery time has past and I am recovering nicely. It sure does make getting out of bed interesting but I tell you what I am looking forward to not being in pain anymore. I am even looking forward to going to the gym when I receive my doctors release! Through this I have learned that I am way stronger physically than I thought I was. It makes me happy with myself.<br />
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This Christmas is going to be a bit different. Everything around here is low key this year and I am truly okay with that. I have even scaled back in gift giving which has made me feel pretty darn good. I have even been able to resist compulsive buying. I am finally becoming at peace within myself and it is so nice.<br />
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To you and your family, Merry Christmas! Take time for yourself this Christmas, it will make all the difference to those around you because you will be in a good mood. Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25423366.post-71080607631741104272013-10-27T12:54:00.000-07:002013-10-27T12:54:17.270-07:00Not typicalI am not a typical Grandparent. I fall into a category of a Grandparent that is helping to raise her Grandchildren, that makes me a statistic. You add to this that my home is also their home and it throws in a whole new dynamic. I never wanted to be a statistic. It has taken me almost two years to grieve over the loss of what I thought being a Grandparent should be. My daughter and I joke about me being her other half, the reality is I am never going to be able to be her other half. I can't give her the love she craves or the security she needs for her and the children.<br />
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My daughter told me something the other day and it has changed my way of thinking....I am my Grand children's other half. I am with them everyday, helping to raise them. When my daughter is at work they are either with me or at school. My daughter and I have faced our share difficult days of not seeing eye to eye on discipline but I am learning. We have become a strong unit for the kids and I am able to sit back letting her be the Mom when she is home. Anyone who knows me, this is a BIG thing!<br />
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I am seeing how as parents we grow up with our children and we settle into whatever age they are in. It is hard to go back to those hard places, when you have settled with being done with having young children around. Memories flood back when you are in the midst of a 3 year old's tantrum or a 7 year old's attitude. You start to remember what worked and what didn't. It makes you feel so worn out. <br />
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One of the things that I don't do well anymore is loud. I can only put up with it for so long, even the TV gets loud. I have to constantly remind myself that kids just need to be loud at times and I don't tune things out well. I seriously just want to scream and most of the time that is what I do on the inside. I look forward to the quiet of the mornings and the quietness that comes when everyone is fast asleep. I can finally think, finish a sentence or even a conversation!<br />
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In sharing today I just want others that might be facing the same thing that you aren't alone. It does get better because I am finally seeing it! It just takes time, more time than some of us would like. Let's all just hold on for a bit more and see how far we can go. <br />
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25423366.post-50639703546577877772013-09-06T17:43:00.002-07:002013-09-06T17:43:24.397-07:00Sunrise and SunsetThis week I have seen both a Sunrise, Sunset and two Thunder lighting storms. It is strange how they calm me and I think sometimes you can forget how beautiful they are. Last night was one of those storms. Our new princess of the house was so scared. I wrapped her up in a blanket holding her for 20 minutes. Then this morning she climbed up onto my chest while I was drinking my coffee. Pure Bliss I tell you.<br />
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This week was the start of school for the Grands so I only have one at home now. Tell you what....this little one is a firecracker and can talk so much when no one is around. We are all getting into a routine and I'm looking forward to next week to just keep working on it. <br />
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I've also been working on cleaning up my corner, which has needed it for so long. To many days of just not putting the little things away, then before you know it you feel so overwhelmed you turn around and walk back out. So I decided to not walk out! Slow going but it will feel good to just be able to just walk in and play. My space also shares a spot where I pay my bills. I haven't quite got that worked out yet but it is getting better. Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25423366.post-36061418962410972402013-08-27T17:15:00.001-07:002013-08-27T17:15:18.820-07:00A little bit of sunshine<span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}">For quite awhile now I have been praying for another kitten. It has been pretty difficult to fight the urge since my son works at Pet Smart! He sends me countless pictures of these precious babies and then comes home talking about them.(not to mention the puppies!!) Every time he gets that Oh but they are so cute tone in his voice my husband says NO WAY! NO MORE Kitties! </span><br />
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<span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}">We have 2 beautiful babies....Sneakers, a Light Grey Turkish Angora and is 9 years old. Then Archie short for Archimedes is a mix of some sort Dark Grey with White and is 6 years old. They fight rough and tough some days. Reminds me of the old cartoons that you see of two cats fighting and fur flying. They are lovey and social. I never met any other cats like them.</span><br />
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<span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}">So when I visited the pet adoption place at my son's work over a month ago I saw this beautiful little girl kitten. I told my husband but of course he coined his favorite word NO! Then this past weekend he was picking up our son from work since his car is in the shop right now. He saw her, without any prompting from me and fell in love. He came home talking in a little boy voice, telling me about this cute little girl he saw and how she was playing with him. Ah yes, little Margarita stole my husbands heart right then and there. I went to the store Sunday night but the adoption center was already closed for the day. She is a year old and a Turkish Angora with Green eyes.</span><br />
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<span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}">So the day finally came </span><span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"><span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}">that I never really thought would happen. </span>He said YES and yesterday I brought her home. I am in love, she has stolen everyone's heart. She is not hissing and growling much at her brothers now. Late last night before I went to bed she crawled up onto my chest and started purring. I think I may have wiped a few tears away, as I started to pet her and cuddle. On a side note, when you have a one year old in the house everyone talks in funny voices! lol </span><br />
<span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"><br /></span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25423366.post-48897152589494891642013-08-25T20:56:00.001-07:002013-08-25T20:56:16.037-07:00StormsI can sit here in my chair and can think about everyone storm I have faced in my life. Boy, some of them have been pretty ugly so full of darkness. The kind you wonder if you will ever see the light at the end of the tunnel. Then you just see a speck of light, just piece to give you hope. <br />
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Right now my house is quiet except for a movie someone is watching in a different part of the house. However, right outside the thunder and lightening storm the weather man has been promising for days now has just moved in. I've missed them all because they have come in the middle of the night this summer. Tonight though, I think I am going to embrace the storm and let it wash away the pain that I have been feeling in my heart the last few weeks. Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25423366.post-64094256780278629802013-08-23T21:37:00.001-07:002013-08-23T21:37:02.541-07:00Not another dayI'm trying so hard to get back into writing. Some days I feel I have a handle on it and then some days like today I just don't have it in me.<br />
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So today I will share a couple of pictures from my garden. Enjoy!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25423366.post-35095261071771724252013-08-21T20:50:00.003-07:002013-08-21T20:50:34.426-07:00A little bit of art<br />
So I have been able to work on a couple of art journal pages. They make me so happy!<br />
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The girl was I saw in a magazine and just redrew her. Putting her in a tree just seemed like the best thing. <br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5v20eAVPUqoab5BJo9L5D0mwgh95wIfjXEI5Ztx97Jlif9bu_hfFknloOQ62Wi_3kdv0t8_PIMrN51oTiy1CLPth9xHq9pKqx9ShWn3QyhLPq2-7gv3Xrafqx5-b-ZF1t39M6/s1600/Spring01a.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5v20eAVPUqoab5BJo9L5D0mwgh95wIfjXEI5Ztx97Jlif9bu_hfFknloOQ62Wi_3kdv0t8_PIMrN51oTiy1CLPth9xHq9pKqx9ShWn3QyhLPq2-7gv3Xrafqx5-b-ZF1t39M6/s200/Spring01a.JPG" width="165" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-hT6aBipguAyEHBUyBmbWAsiLK3mVXITM5-UV7K8kcmyNpLhYuQqT4eZMFS-93Hao4xukVCecJhRZukmjeaMzG3z_PsQTsOG67whkLFSu3so7ZYPNi5-ZhGejigIubJDlMF3g/s1600/Spring01b.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-hT6aBipguAyEHBUyBmbWAsiLK3mVXITM5-UV7K8kcmyNpLhYuQqT4eZMFS-93Hao4xukVCecJhRZukmjeaMzG3z_PsQTsOG67whkLFSu3so7ZYPNi5-ZhGejigIubJDlMF3g/s200/Spring01b.JPG" width="158" /></a></div>
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I created these pages around Springtime but still fun to finish.<br />
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All images are drawn in pencil and then watercolored with my Neocolor II's, which I am totally in love with. I have used a black Faber Castel size S. The words for the pages just hasn't come yet.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25423366.post-15789108216010294202013-08-20T22:53:00.001-07:002013-08-20T22:53:03.441-07:00SensitivityThis seems to be my word the last couple of days. I have found it almost impossible to be able to sit for long periods of time. Everything my Grands do or say have me so tight I can't even think straight. I've resulted to trying to keep busy with this and that most doesn't work. If I am good to find something, I get interrupted. Most days would be okay but the endless questions are just to much.<br />
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It is the count down to school I am guessing. Everyone seems to be bored with the things they have been doing all summer. Just not sure I have it in me to figure out what new thing to do with them. Well maybe if I can get a good nights sleep things will be better in the morning. Here's hoping!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25423366.post-73271700326561603232013-08-17T21:18:00.000-07:002013-08-17T21:18:19.575-07:00WordsYesterday turned into an emotional busy day, that in the long run was full of good. Anything can happen when you are in counseling especially when it is with family. You almost leave the room not even remembering everything. It does come back once you are rested, it leaves you with a good reflecting time. Time to think and be able to stand firm in the words you yourself spoke.<br />
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I have promised my daughter that I will never share on this blog, what she is feeling and the things she says. I have to rebuild. So in my journey you will hear about me, my story not anything having to do with my daughter. She will be weaved in as part of the general story but her words are her own, not mine. I do believe in speaking the words we need to speak even if they sometimes hurt others. If we weren't honest with others how will we be able to be honest with ourselves. So I know this is going to be hard to write from just one side but I am going to do my best. <br />
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In family counseling you are told to use the words 'I feel", 'I think', basically the 'I' sentences or words. It really helps you to take ownership to what is going on in your own head. Usually what ends up happening is everyone ends up seeing somehow where they personally have done something wrong in communication. <br />
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My husband and I have never been afraid to work hard at things. We did a lot of hard work when we reconciled our marriage 13 years ago. It had come to a fork in the road and we decided to stay together. I do remember a friend of mine at the time asking me what I wanted, did I want to stay or not. Could it be that simple to just decide something? To decide that you don't care how hard you have to work. It was time to do something together and do the work that had to be done. I have never looked back since that day. I can tell you the people around us at the time, didn't like what we were doing. They told me I should have kicked him to the curb but where would that have taken me? Not to mention my children. I had women tell me they could have never done what I did. Well, ya know what all I did is what God asks each of us to do.....live a life of forgiveness and grace.<br />
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Seems to be a pattern in my life forgiveness and grace. I'm even learning to extend that to myself, it is pretty awesome. When you learn these things you tend to not get stuck in your past. You are able to walk upright so if you are ever put into a place where you are seeking family counseling that you can take responsibility for your actions. It really does leave you feeling pretty good about yourself. Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25423366.post-11875132408433785402013-08-16T20:27:00.002-07:002013-08-16T20:27:50.230-07:00PeaceThought I would share a little bit of peace with you today.<br />
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Beautiful Mt. Rainer <br />
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25423366.post-61904816717189762722013-08-14T20:27:00.001-07:002013-08-18T09:16:26.210-07:00TimeYesterday I needed a day of rest. It was a big day, my oldest Granddaughter turned seven. Time just keeps ticking away.. It shows up each day even when you don't want it to. It even throws you curve balls.<br />
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My youngest daughter leaving was a curve ball, even though I could see and feel it coming. The signs were there, her getting rid of things she had kept close for a long time. I was seeing it happen but felt there was nothing I could do or say to make it better. I honestly didn't feel as if I was giving up but letting her find her wings without her feeling like I was suffocating her. <br />
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When you are faced with something like this it would be easy to hold onto the words you hear. You are mentally/emotionally abusive and you are a detriment to her healing, it changes you. You then realize just like others that have come into your life, you must extend forgiveness. The thing is she won't see it right away. I NEVER want it to seem like I am invalidating her feelings because I am not. I do believe she is not seeing what she is doing to others around her, the damage she is causing.<br />
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So today I say in this very public place of the Internet, I am calling on God's name, to break every chain. I will dance in this fire and I WILL take back what the devil has stolen from me! Jesus is my everlasting freedom and He has always promised me that He would redeem time that is stolen from me. Today I am holding Him to this promise. Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0