Sometimes I think something is wrong with me

I have had the hardest time 'getting into' the holiday spirit this year. I've been listening to a lot of other people and they have all the said the same thing. So it is nice to know that I'm not alone and that I'm okay. This year it is different, something is changing. Will this change bring along people NOT being so greedy this holiday season? Ya know, they are everywhere! Time will be the judge of that.

I remember being a person that had to make sure that each of my children had the same number of gifts. No one could feel less important but I know now I was missing the point! As I've gotten older the gifts that mean the most to me are the ones that are thoughtful and useful. Now, don't get me wrong........there are things that I would LOVE to have but really all my needs are met. If I don't get anything off my list, I will reevaluate the items then decide if I can live without them. I can already say that there is one item that WILL stay on the list!! A Crop a dile, if you are a scrapbooker or card maker and you don't have this tool, it is a MUST HAVE ITEM!!(the lime green one is my favorite but I did just notice they now have it in purple......ooooo!!) So cool to be able to set eyelets quietly and it will punch through layers of paper with little any effort.

I feel the Christmas mood ever so slowly coming to me. I'm doing my best to grasp onto it but it is hard when you have some of your babies that aren't going to be home with you this year. Okay, well maybe they aren't babies anymore but I miss them just the same. My mood started to lift as I opened my email the other day and received the picture to the left. My Granddaughter's 1st Christmas tree, that she will always remember! I can't wait to scrapbook these pictures! My daughter helped her by drawing the outline of the tree with some ornaments and started coloring. My Granddaughter was so very excited and so very proud of herself.

I remember those days of Christmas as a child, the wonder, the amazement of the true meaning. The day I finally understood what it was really all about. The greatfulness that I have to my savior Jesus Christ, for coming as a baby just for me. Sometimes the thought of it all is overwhelming.

If you are overwhelmed, maybe not feeling right this holiday season try to find your happy song. One that makes your soul sing, the one that you find yourself singing to yourself all the time. No song? Then maybe just start humming it does wonderful things for your mood. Just don't loose sight of the real reason for Christmas, slow down and take it all in. Relearn how to LOVE this season. Now, go forward.

I hope everyone has a wonderful day. We are staying pretty simple this year and not making to many leftovers except of course for a large turkey. It seems the simpler you stay the more calm things are. I think my most favorite thing my youngest daughter and I have made was a Red Velvet cake. It turned out so pretty and it is sooooo yummy.

There is a special give away today over here at Scrapping Servant Hopefully you will be able to take part. If you aren't able to make it over maybe I should do a give away of my own? Hhhhhmmmm, if enough people are interested I may just do that.

Many blessings to you and yours this day. Search for your heart for the things you are thankful for, then don't let them go!! Scrapbook them!!

Christmas????? Oh my!!!

I know that everyone seems to be saying it this week BUT I can't believe Christmas is only 7 weeks away. I find myself not really in the holiday mood. I'm not sure if it is I have so much to put together or if my mind is just changing. Over the years the way I approach Christmas is so different. I don't want to give gifts that don't have any thought to them. I would rather give nothing than impulse buy........that is a BIG step for me!!!

This year I took a challenge from Ali Edwards and chose a word for the year. I may have shared it before but my word has been contentment. To be honest with myself I have to say I have been anything but content this year. I just can't seem to put my finger on it. I do feel a shifting taking place as Christmas is approaching.

I'm going to slow down and take a few things in, sites and sounds. The forecast is for snow this weekend. We shall see.

Ready Mom?????
I can't help but wonder if as a mom you are truly ever ready for your babies to get older. My youngest is inching closer to being a teenager and it seems she is changing everyday. When did she start to get a womanly figure anyway? I know it happens but geeeshh, can't my baby stay a baby for just a little while longer?? Probably not...........I'm thankful she isn't showing to much interest in boys her age other than to have them as friends. I'm sure she has her eye on one and I hate it admit it but their is probably a young boy or two that is setting his sites on her. Let's just hope they continue to stay scared of girls for a little bit longer!!

So to you my darling daughter, I wish you a little belated birthday. Never doubt, how much I love you so desperately.
Keep smiling, laughing and choosing to be happy creating joy in your everyday life!! You have brought me many days of happiness as a mom, even through the days of misunderstandings, that bring us both to tears. Hold onto your faith in God and keep an open ear to him as we enter into another year of adventure in your wonderful, beautiful life.
I thank God for gracing me with your presence. What joy and sunshine you bring to my days!!

Hearts all a flutter.........
I do believe I am caught up on some sleep. My energy level is increasing and I just feel good. I honestly can't remember the last time I felt like this.
The leaves are falling from the trees and I can feel myself settling in. This is going to be the week, that I start to play catch up on the little things, that I have let go because of lack of energy. Yipppeee!!
This is one of the sweetest faces ever. Who would have every thought that my Granddaughter would love to eat lemons. Reminds me of hot summer days sitting on the back fence eating lemons myself when I was about 10-ish. I don't know how I did it! Now I can't even think of eating something that sour without my jaw tighting up. So what does a little girl give her Granny for her birthday, that would have her heart all in a flutter? With a little help from her Mommy of course, she made me a card with dancing lady bugs. The lady bugs are her tiny finger prints, sigh. This is one card that will have a place of honor in my scrapbook.
It is funny how something so simple can make your world a little bit brighter.

Updated Sites and Sounds......
So my more later, has turned into MUCH later. Oh well, just enjoying what time I had with my daughter/granddaughter. Soaking up every possible minute and getting in as many hugs and loves as I possibly could from each of them.

A harvest of fruits and vegetables were found everywhere we went in Pike's Place. My family was getting a little irritated at me, as I was taking pictures of things I love about this place. I will share more later as the urge comes over me.

The same weekend that we picked up the girls was my birthday. What a wonderful present.........I really didn't plan the flight that way but it was a bonus! My morning was greeted with a smiling, little blonde headed girl saying 'Hi'. Followed later that day, with lunch/dinner(or lunner, as my children call it) with my Dad and Step-mom. To which I received a beautiful new set of Prismacolored pencils from my parents and flowers from my youngest daughter Michaela. The flowers have faded away but they were just beautiful. The pencils have yet to be sharpened because I just love the newness of them. I'm sure it won't be to long before the day is taken to sharpen each one. I already have my sketch pad ready, just putting a new cover on it this week.

Health.......I had my consultation with my surgeon Dr. Young, very nice man and took the time to explain what he would be doing. What I could expect after surgery and the weeks to follow. After a little bit of a snafu with the insurance company surgery, was scheduled for Monday, September 17. Everything went fine and they only had to take out my left thyroid. I was more sore, I believe from the breathing tube that had to put down my throat durning surgery than the surgery itself. The only thing that was frustrating was that the meds they had me on caused me to get dizzy, which then caused me to have a migraine, to which I would take migraine medication that made me more sleepy. A total double edged sword. I talked to the surgeons office the Thursday after surgery and told them what was happening. They said as long I was not in extreme pain then I could stop taking the pain medication......yippee!! No more migraines after that was done. At the same time they heard back from the pathologist who was doing further tests on the tumor they took out. There is no cancer!

It is interesting how you can pretend that you are okay, on the outside and then you get good news that your fear is not reality. I spent a little time crying and thanking my gracious God before breaking the news to my family. Things like this make you slow down and enjoy what is right in front of you. So that is what I've done the last few weeks, slowed down, enjoyed being alive and healthy. Being able to chase after my Grand-daughter, having her take a few steps to me sharing a cookie that she had had in her mouth(no I didn't eat it, just gave it back) and spending a 'little' more on coffee with my daughter. It was a simply wonderful time.

Sites and sounds of just a little bit of everything.

I have had a wonderful few days! Picking up my Daughter and Granddaughter were at the top of my weekend excitement along with celebrating my birthday. At the airport she asked me to pick her up and I couldn't have been any happier. The fact that she decided she needed my sunglasses wasn't to bad either.

The only agenda we had was to spend time at Pike's Place and then take some Seattle skyline photos at Queen Anne park. It was such a beautiful day, not to hot or cold. It was so full of life, wonderful sounds and beautiful colors. I do love to browse and I could spend so many hours just looking at everything. Not everyone in my family feels this way, which is sad but they adjusted themselves for me. More later........

The day, the day, the day!!
Tomorrow is the day!
We drive to Seattle to pick up Nicole and my Granddaughter. Everyone has decided they are coming along. Michaela is a little disappointed in not having a total girls day out. That just means I NEED to plan something else for us to do while Nicole is here. It still will be an adventure. I look at it this way, I don't have to drive now with Bruce knowing how to get around the Seattle area. That just means he will be the chauffeur and we can tell him where to go.....he he. I'm just hoping it won't all be to overwhelming for Piper.
Looking forward to spending time at Pike's Place and maybe even getting to go into my favorite Scrapbook store the Mad Scrapper. A girl can dream!!

Well it is done. My thyroid surgery is scheduled for Sept. 17th at 9:30am. I have an awesome doctor, who took the time to explain everything so I had no questions. I go in this upcoming Thursday for all my pre-op stuff.
A week from today I'll be driving over to the airport and picking up Nicole and Piper. So very excited! Michaela will be traveling with me. I have admit that this is something she and I need. Some girl time, being pre-teen is a rough age for her and I right now. We just have to keep the communication flowing and I believe we will make it.
Off to start my Saturday, 'trying to Piper proof my house'. LOL Can't wait to hold her!!

LOTS of stuff happening on the home front.
We are getting the school routine down and it seems to be going easier than I thought it would. The next few weeks will be interesting as we add homework and mid week church into the mix.
My Daughter Nicole and Granddaughter will be coming to visit in 9 days!! Just a little bit excited, it has been almost 8 months since I've seen both of them in person. Nicole will be having another baby in January but she is hoping that "He" will decide to come a little early. Yep, it's a BOY!! A Grandson, Elijah--middle name to be decided at a later time. My son in law will be staying on the home front, working this time. All are hoping to set time aside next Mother's Day to come visit........what a gift. Also hoping to take a trip with my Step mom to see Elijah, shortly after he is born.
On the health side, it has been a waiting game for doctors to get their paper work in order to forward to the surgeon. I have to admit the last couple of weeks have been a blessing to just take the time to breathe and get the kids ready for school. My doctor called yesterday and I have my surgical consult tomorrow 11am. He just 'happened' to have an appointment.........ya, right! Can I tell you how wonderful my God is and how well HE knows me. Knows me enough to NOT give me to much time to think about it. Just like when I have to go to the dentist and they tell me I have to have a filling done. Can you come in the next day.........sure! No time to think about it. It is just better for me that way.

Time just seems to get away from me. I get wrapped up in life and before I know it another day has gone away.
Today marks the Saturday before the first day of school around here. School supplies, new tennis shoes, a few new clothing articles are bought. This past Tuesday the kids had orientation at school, they met their teachers, found their classes the usual boring stuff. Hard for me to believe that my two youngest children are entering Middle school and Jr. High.
Bruce has taken the kids on an overnight hike to Mr. Rainer, honestly I didn't realize how much I just needed to have a little time with no agenda. No errands to do, no one needing anything from the store, just a little bit of peace.
It has been a good day!! Now for a good nights sleep!!!!

Totally FUN FIND for me a couple of weekends ago!! I LOVE bowls!! Now just to decide if I want to use them for food OR in my scrapbookroom BECAUSE they just make me happy!!!

I haven't taken part in Funky Photo Friday in a long time. With summer and everything going on health wise in my life I just needed time and rest.
Last friday's photo assignment was of sunsets. These were taken the beginning of the summer durning a walk with my daughter. Enjoy!!!

I so love the contrast between the dark and the bright oranges. Something about it just makes me sigh. Total beauty.
My daughter saw an angel in this one. Straight over our house.

Well my doctor, the sweet one that she, is called me at 7:30pm last night. She asked if I had heard from the oncologist about my biopsy results, 'no, I said'. To which she answered 'I have the results right here. Would you like to know what they are?' Well, duh!! lol You have to understand that my doctor is incredible, she LOVES us and she was soooo excited to see the news, she just couldn't wait to tell me. Nothing like complete service. My 'tumor' is benign!! God is so incredibly wonderful!! I'm happy, relieved and thanking God for His love for me!! Now I wait to hear from the surgeon, to see when we can schedule to have this lump taken out.
I can tell you, in something like this, that your life takes on new meaning. You can get back to life but you aren't the same person, you find yourself changed. You look and think about things differently. You stop making lousy excuses for why you haven't done certain things. You realize time isn't to be waisted. Was this the lesson? To show me how strong my faith is and to see who I really am? Even to help me from making lousy excuses? I think I have only begun to see what this all means.
So here is to precious time and not taking it for granted. To leaving the lousy excuses behind and getting on with life. A life that leaves the bad stuff of the past, behind right where it belongs.

When you are a child you hope and pray you never have to face bad things. You have the attitude that certain things won't happen to you. Then you know what happens? You grow up to realize that everyone faces bad things in their lives. Sometimes you have a measure of control but in most cases there isn't any way to control your given situation.

A few weeks ago I went with my instinct and a light push from Ali Edwards to go in and have my thyroid rechecked. I had, had an ultra sound done on it in the spring and from what I was feeling it seemed to have gotten bigger. My doctor set me up for another ultra sound within a couple of days of seeing her. The imagining office that I went to, was so on top things that they got the results back to my doctor the same day. I loved the fact that she called to talk to me after hours, but not because there was something drastically wrong. I was impressed that she cared enough to take her own time to call me. There are not many doctors in the world these days that would do that.

So I'm glad I went with my instinct. It has grown slightly in width but especially in length. The ultra sound shows that it is one mass, which is good. My doctor forwarded my information to the oncologist so I could have a needle biopsy done. That appointment was yesterday, now we just wait to see how to proceed. My oncologist said that because it is pressing on my larynx that I will want to have it removed. Yes, I have thought about the dreaded 'c' word and even talked with the doctor about it. The oncologist said that with it being solid that in most cases it is benign. With half of my thyroid being removed we will see if the right side will pick up the slack from the left. If not I will have to be on medication.

All in all I'm arming myself with information and making sure I have many prayers going up. I am peaceful, calm and thankful that God has everything under His control. This is something I can't control. I LOVE how God surrounds me with special people in my life that help to raise my faith. They help me to keep my eyes on Him, the one who made me and knowns every step that I am going to take in my life.

The days seem to get away from you when you have company. Your house is turned upside down, only for you to realize how much you are used to having order in your house.
My DH took our oldest daughter and a couple of hers friends on an over night hike last night. My two younger children wanted to spend the night at my parents house. So you guessed it, I was by myself for the evening. Totally odd to have an evening to myself. I ended up going over to a girlfriend's house to help her get started on organizing her scrapbookroom. Then I stopped at my local grocery store and picked up a good Chicken Caesar Salad. I just didn't feel like cooking for myself or heating up leftovers.
Well, the house will go from being quiet to being loud, as soon as everyone gets home. I'm going to try to get a move on, on cleaning off my scrapbook table! Just because it is in the familyroom people think they can pile their stuff on it.....frustrating!! Especially when you want to scrapbook!!

What is the meaning in a name, mainly your name? I was tagged a few days ago to talk about the meaning of my name.

Here is what I found:
Pronounced: JEW-al/JU-el
Orgin: Old French
Meaning: Plaything, delight, joy
Literal meaning: Precious gem
Given name may derive from it's use as a term of affection
826th most popular name

What I KNOW personally about my name: My Great Great Grandfather's last name was Jule. He and my Grandmother came over from Denmark. They never had any boys to carry on the family name so the name was passed on as a middle name. I in turn have passed it onto my oldest daughter as a middle name. I hope she will keep the tradition.

So what do you know about your name?

Yesterday was such a nice relaxing day. I read a little, wrote a lot, and took a nap. A completly wonderful day for me which doesn't come by very often.
This week may just turn out to be a busy one. My oldest daughter is coming into town from Omaha, NE with her girlfriend. They will be staying until Sunday I believe and then leaving in our older car we have gifted her.
It will be a full week so I'm off to bed early!

Have you ever just had one of those NOT so productive days? That was me yesterday! I had so many best laid plans to blog but when I sat down I was somehow taken away to do anything but what I wanted to do.
So today has been a good day. I had my cup of coffee with creamer and splenda, then got dressed into jeans. BIG step for me because I LOVE my sweatpants even in summer time. I headed out to our dreaded garage which is basically a glorified storage area. If it was EVER to fit a car inside I would be totally amazed!! We get into this habit of not putting things away, then we make the excuses why we can't go out and clean. From it being to hot, to cold or we have more important things to do. For me it comes down to we have been spending WAY to much time in front of the tv, so enough is enough. We are going to get a few things done and there are a few people in my house that aren't to happy about it.
So the garage is clean.......I don't remember it every having a floor or at least one that I can see!! Two other BIG things got done, an old propaine bottle had it's bottom cut off, to make a LARGE windchime/bell(which has been talked about for years) and we made a new lattice gate at the top of our deck. This has been so needed since we got our Chocolate lab Rosie, who loves to jump over the little gate onto the deck then sleep on a chair that is there. Last weekend we got some 'new to us' furniture so we moved our larger couch that was inside, outside onto the covered deck. It is turning out to be a nice place to escape to read of write. I will have to figure out something for an outdoor winter cover so it doesn't get ruined. There is only one more small project that I want to get done later this evening after everyone has a nice rest. Then I will be happy that the house will be ready for my daughter and her girlfriend. They are coming to visit for a few days this week from Nebraska.
Back to my resting and reading my new magazine Homegrown Hospitality!!

Yesterday, I spent part of my morning with my friend Shari, scrapbooking. Totally fun when we can spend some one on one time together. God has brought her into my life and I am grateful to Him for that. She spoils me when I am at her house with making me mochas. It makes me feel just as special as when I go to Starbucks once a week.
So I decided to take a look at our local cash and carry. I found quite a few different non coffee flavors so the kids can enjoy them........hey, what am I kidding I LOVE them too!! Tonight my daughter Micheala and I made White Chocolate and Peach smoothies.....yummy!! I am definitely NOT going to be able to have these every night!!! Thank you Shari for helping me save a little bit of money in the long run. It is worth it to spend time making these with the kids.

Two posts in one day??!! What is wrong with me? Nothing really, I just want to really use my blog instead of it collecting dust bunnies that I don't like!! So here is to a 30 day blogging challenge, of writing everyday. Now just to find the right time of day ;o)

Feel like joining a party this month? Well head on over to Real Women Scrap and see what its all about!!

So many of us have been touched by Breast cancer in one form or another. Let's not let this be a silent killer anymore. Let's be aware and help each other!! You never know it might just save a life and that life maybe your own.

I may not know you but I am someone who cares about your life. You have so much to offer this world. Take care of yourself!!!

I've been tagged by my writing friend Bonnierose wanting to know some random facts about me. So as I am a writer that has been hidden away in a closet for a long time, I'm happy to obliged. Thanks Bonnie for the push and gentle leading.

Never in my life have I: felt so loved then the day I woke up one Christmas morning realizing how much my Lord and Savior truly loved me. Then BELIEVING IT!!

High school was: something I had to do to get on with my life and get out of my parents house.(hhhmmm, I think I heard that from one of my children!!)

When I'm nervous: my stomach gets VERY upset.

My hair: is only very blonde because I have it dyed twice a year.

When I was 5: It was just me and my mom, then she met my step-dad.

When I turn my head to the left: I see my gas fireplace with lovely Heidi Swapp flowers, in clear jars on the mantels.

I should be: doing some chores, getting dinner ready or packing my scrapbook supplies before I go to a friends house to scrapbook tonight.

By this time next year: I will be a Granny for the second time!!

My favorite Aunt: before my Uncle's divorce, was my Aunt Kathy. Now, I have no Aunt's that are apart of my life. My family isn't very functional.

I have a hard time understanding: when some people choose to continue towards a bad path, even when they really know right from wrong.

You know I like you if: I am drawn to spending time with you and can just be myself.

My ideal breakfast is: Crunchy hash browns with cheesy scrambled eggs.

If you visit my hometown: there is always an extra place for you to sleep at my house, no charge!!

My favorite blonde is: my friend Terri in less she has dyed her hair! Then it would be Beth Proudfoot a teacher at Big Picture Scrapbooking. I totally admire both of these women for helping me to discover a part of who I am.

My favorite brunette is: my girlfriend Shari Dover who is an awesome scrapbook buddy and listener.

The animal I would like to see flying besides birds: is a happy cow with tiny wings.....lol

Last night I: slept very nicely because it was finally cooler outside.

A better name for me would be: I would not want a different name. God has shown me what my name means to Him and who would want to change it after that??

I've been told I look like: I am younger than I really am. Must be the fact, that I had all my children at a young age and being able to keep up with them OR that I work with youth at my church.

If you have stuck it out this long you are sooo brave!! I'm tagging Terri!! he he he Welcome to the blog world girlfriend!!!

One of my favorite blogs right now is Kal Barteski , she has tagged all who visit her site to share three things we like about ourselves. I am finding that it isn't the easiest thing to do however I'm up for the challenge.

1. I am a wonderfully creative person. Over my years I have done a lot of self teaching in many different areas. I do find though, that there are so many things out there it is hard to keep to just a handful!!

2. I am a forgiving and loving person, even on people's bad days. It hasn't always been an easy thing for me to do. You can teach someone to be forgiving but it comes down to the choice a person makes.

3. I am a thrifty person and am always looking for a good deal, on things for my family. I LOVE clearance sales, food sales, just about any sale. AND I LOVE our local $1 store!! maybe not always the best product BUT when you find something that is, way to go!!!

Thank-you Kal for the challenge!!

As promised! A picture of our clean pool. What I don't understand is why people in our neighborhood don't spend a lot of their time in it. Totally odd when it has been reaching over 100* this last week!!
Funky Photo took a week off but we were encouraged to post our favorite of the week. Mine is of my son who turned 14 years old yesterday. Hard to believe how fast they grow! Happy Birthday Ethen, you are my son and I can't ever imagine my life without you. You fill my life with a crazy boy joy, that I love. I am thankful that you still aren't afraid to kiss me on the cheek in a public place or hold my hand. I hope those days will continue for a lifetime, along with our Starbucks dates!

What a month it has been! School ending for my children, starting/ending of Baseball for my son and NOW just keeping the two entertained for the summer. I don't think it is going to be to bad as long as they don't spend most of their time arguing with each other(One teenager and one preteen)

I've been trying to keep up with the photo challenge and I'm really loving it. Thanks ladies for putting it together!!!! So here I go the last three weeks of challenges.........



Challenge #4, Close ups, decided to use another flower just because it is pretty. The Ogre sized M&M's looked so good I almost didn't want to eat them but did anyway. The pool cover was taken by youngest who is now taking part in the challenges with me.
Challenge #5, Mode of Transportation. Nothing really exciting except that my Volvo is being gifted to my oldest in a month so it will have a new home driveway soon.
Challenge #6, What summer means to me........ha ha ha. Okay maybe NOT so inviting to some right now BUT to my family this is what summer means. Getting our neighborhood/community pool up and running for the summer! I promise a nicer picture later!!
Don't forget to take part in the photo challenge, if you dare!!

So this photo challenge is just that for me, a challenge. A challenge to have it in the front of my mind durning the week but not letting it take over.

Challenge #2 was signs. One of my favorite local stores and my church.

Challenge #3, has to be one of my favorites just because Landscapes make me happy. I LOVE to look at what is around me and take it all in. I'm in wonder of painted skies and this photo marks a special walk with my daughter a few weeks ago.
These photos were taken Sunday evening durning a freak rain/wind storm we had. The rolling over our house only lasted a few minutes but it was really breath taking. Shortly after this the lightening started.

Why not try the challenge for yourself?

This was fun but no surprise to me!!!

GREEN

You are a very calm and contemplative person. Others are drawn to your peaceful, nurturing nature.

Find out your color at QuizMeme.com!

Your turn.....

I'm joining in on a weekly photo challenge. This week we are challenged to take pictures of flowers. These are some of my favorites that were in bloom at my local nursery. I LOVE spring time!!!

Okay, so maybe the top photo of the cookie bouquet isn't real but ya know what?? It did smell VERY sweet!! It was totally fun for my daughter and I to make for her teacher.

Have you ever been the bad guy?
I never liked it as my older girls were growing up. I wanted to be liked and loved by my children not hated. Somewhere along the lines I realized I wasn't on this earth to be their friend but to be a loving parent. One that gives discipline and advice even on the chance that it isn't going to be liked. Which leads to being the bad guy.
I just stopped trying to sugar coat things and even how I felt. I did my best to give loving support but still being firm about where my lines were. They weren't use to that, the lines being drawn. There were use to fussy lines or no lines at all from me. So as they grew I did too. I became stronger and not so angry about having to be the bad guy.
How they must have been weighted by me and what was going on in their lives. I confided to much in them about my own life problems. I felt alone, so when asked, "Momma are you okay?". I would honestly give them more details then they truly needed. I regret not allowing them to be children, letting them laugh more, and just be silly. If I could, I would go back and let them be loud on days I wanted peace. I would be thankful for the noice in my house and find the peace I needed in that. Knowing someday their laughter would be gone from these walls.
All of this leads me to asking, if I hadn't learned to be the bad guy or even shared what I did with them, would they be as strong as they are now? I look at these two beautiful souls and I am so proud of who they have become.
Funny thing is, I may not have to discipline them anymore but sometimes I am still the bad guy. With the element of not having to discipline, comes a line of friendship that I really like to be apart of. I have discovered that what they do is their life and I am so happy they are finding out who they are. It can be sad to not be really apart of their lives much anymore. To not have them live near me so we can go on coffee dates, to just catch up on life.
My problem comes when we are talking about our lives. I ask questions on why they are doing something a certain way. Then that gets turned around somehow, that I am trying to tell them what to do. I know that is not what I'm doing. They don't need to answer to me, justify their actions or even try to impress me. I am going to love them regardless of what they choose to do with any part of their lives. I'm only here to give suggestions and opinions when they are wanted. Is it wrong to want to learn from them? Hey, I might learn a new way of doing something!! I am always open to that.
So I am back to being the bad guy, most of the time, not really knowing why in the first place and sometimes not knowing where my lines are.
I guess I have more growing to do.

I'm trying my best to Rise Above somethings that are going on in my life, growing things. Things that can't be held onto or thought about to closely because I would find myself falling apart. I'm finding a new strength in my God. He is helping me to rise every morning and not go to a place that makes my insides mushy. Choosing to be Happy and to Create Joy in my life.

So today I share a little Beauty with you. Enjoy your May Day whatever it holds and give some flowers to someone. Why? Cause it just makes someone Happy.

Today, two of the most important people in my life are celebrating their birthdays. My husband and our beautiful daughter Nicole. I want you both, to just have a wonderful day being surrounded by the people and things you love the most.
Bruce, 20 years ago I gave you the most precious gift, our beautiful daughter. What a wonderful husband and father you are. You are so full of a strength that I can't even compare to have. Have a wonderful day and know that you are so loved.
Nicole, 20 years ago you came into my life and I am so glad you did. Your caring heart, has always inspired me to push myself to become a better person. I've watched you change into a beautiful young woman that I'm proud to call my daughter. I hope your day will be filled with a lot of laughter.

Today is a wonderful day in my neighborhood!! The sunshine is out but it isn't warm yet. I can hear the wind machines that are still on. There are orchards just down the street from where I live. The time between Winter/Spring and Summer/Fall around here can be a beautiful place in the orchards. Right now, the trees are waking up and orchards are watered at night. On some days you will see thick icicles formed on the trees. I've been told that the ice acts as insulation, interesting and totally beautiful!! I should take pictures sometime.
Take time for the beauty around you today. I know I am!

I spent sometime on Saturday creating just for me. I've had this art print for a long time and have wanted to do something with it but what? It is an odd size and I wasn't going to pay to have it framed! The kids went out to brunch and a movie with my step mom and my husband took off for a little while. So on my worship music went and it all came together, imagine that!! I can say it is something that I am so excited and proud of, it just makes me happy!!

Our Easter was relaxed, church in the morning and brunch with my parents at a local restaurant. For a long time now I've only made a 'family easter basket', we have wanted to focus on the real reason for easter. So everyone gets something special along with a family gift. I think though, my favorite thing this year was going out to brunch with my parents. My daughter took pictures of all the beautiful desserts(you know the ones, so beautiful you can't eat them all) and had to take photos of everyone's plates. The joy on her face at the age of 11 was priceless. Then my Husband got into it! He borrowed my Dad's camera with his new fish eye lense and took pictures of our faces!! Oh my gosh, we were laughing so hard we were crying!!! I can't wait to scrapbook those pictures!! HHHhhhmmmm....maybe a good time to learn photoshop? The family photo would be so GREAT!!! lol

Have you ever just wondered if a gift you give makes a difference to anyone? Over the years I've given countless Scrapbooking gifts and sometimes I wonder if they are even used OR if I walk into my local goodwill if it will be there. I know that is probably the extreme but what has happened to people sending Thank-you cards? Is my gift any less than important than lets say, a blender or hair dryer? It leaves me wondering.
I've been Scrapbooking for 18 yrs and most of what I've done hasn't been for my children. Sad, I know however that is on the wind of change for me. Things have been put into perspective the last few months. Something I noticed, I no longer need to show my work to anyone for approval. I remember finishing the latest project, only to try find anyone to share my new found creation with. I would receive a good ole pat on the back, which then would make me feel good about myself. It only lasted a little while and it ended making me feel empty inside. I like the new me, one that doesn't strive to make things for the approval of others. I can make layouts for my children knowing that I'm leaving something for them, when I leave this world.
I would still like a thank you from the people I do give gifts to. I just don't hold my breath anymore, but have learned how to breathe.

Why is sometimes when you step out of your comfort zone and do something new, it gives you a self confidence that you didn't have before? It is strange that you feel stronger and are a changed person. I know that is the way it is suppose to work but it doesn't stop me from trying to understand it. The fact is, I will never fully understand the person God is creating me to be until I meet Him face to face. I'm forever changing, growning, learning and for a person that doesn't like change that is a BIG thing to have to be okay with!! Life goes on~~

So it seems, I am a post once a month or every six weeks kinda blogger. Funny thing is I LOVE reading everyone elses!!! Each one I have picked out for a special reason. I'm sure everyone has their own reasons for reading blogs but for me it is what the person says, that touches my life. It is wonderful that modern technology has come so far that we can touch so many lifes!!

Will I do better in blogging? Don't know BUT I sure do love reading them. Check back sometime and see what I'm up too.

The first day of the new year is a new start. Everything was quiet and seemed fresh that first day. In the morning I let my dogs out it was so quiet. I couldn't believe it not a car on the road at 7:00am, everything was silent except for a few ducks quacking overhead. It was so refreshing.
Today life is good and I hope for more of these good days in 2007.