Peace in the midst of the storm

Have you ever just felt in your heart that something was going to happen but there was really no explaining why you felt that way?  I've been in that place for months.  After several losses this fall my family is facing yet another one, my wonderful husband was laid off.  No, we didn't see this coming, far from it actually.  In the midst of this happening I am away from home.  

Over a month ago I booked a flight to Omaha, Nebraska to come sort through my Mom's things.  The trip was a special gift from my beautiful Step Mom, she is so awesome!  I will be forever grateful to her and my friends for pushing me to do this.  I didn't want to go, didn't want to be away from my family especially the last week of school before winter break.  For my kids it seems to always be the worst...hard days getting out of bed, finals and the lack of motivation to do any school work at all.  I'll be honest that I have been suffering from lack of motivation to, so I have been able to feel there frustration.  

I flew in almost a week ago, spent the afternoon with my Dad, Jay and my nephew Brayden(he has turned into a nice young man!).  I asked my Dad what he wanted to accomplish in the days that I was here.  Go through Mom's stuff and decide where her things should go.  I tell you what, somethings have been easier than others!  My heart pulls to things that she had already gifted, maybe out of my own selfish reasons of wanting to pass them onto my own children.  

One brother Jason lives here in NE with his beautiful wife Jessica and my brother Jonathan, my niece Myriah and her son Tanner flew in on Saturday.  The weekend was then filled with sorting and tears.  I don't know what I was expecting but it wasn't this.  I didn't figure for the first time in my life I would actually feel, really feel like the big sister.  People were looking to me for the answers, hope I have made the right ones.  I will share my treasures with you when I get home, right now I need to keep them in my heart for just a bit longer.     

It amazes me the journey that has been opened up to me this year.  Learning, creating and believing in myself more than ever before.  I can feel my world changing and for the first time in my life I am NOT scared but joyful for it.  A little nervous but a good nervous!!  Hold on world and watch out cause here I come.....forever changed.  I like to think of life as a storm....sometimes raging, sometimes calm but refreshing.  Even in the midst of it there is always some type of peace.....have you noticed that?  Have you ever taken the time in the midst of your storm to see life?  It gives you a better perspective, try it.

A bit differant

It's been awhile and things are just a bit different now.  Out of summer, into school and heading towards fall weather, that is what my little family is all about right now.  My son is a Senior and my daughter is a Sophomore......time just keeps ticking by, much to my dislikes.  I am however enjoying where my life is right now and that is the biggest reason for such the long breaks in between posts. 

My handsome son.  These are actually the second day of school because the first day was just to busy to remember that I needed to take pictures.

My beautiful daughter.  Still rushing out the door to catch the bus.  Yes, she is always this happy if she isn't something is very wrong!!

Blogging just has to take a back burner sometimes I am feeling less and less guilty about it.  I promised to show you a project I worked on this summer and I will do that tomorrow!  Thanks for showing up and listening in about my life.

The last weekend

It has been a good 6 days not to mention a good weekend.  Fall has arrived, the nights are cooler....time for another blanket on the bed , the days are perfect with light breezes and the only draw back is it is getting darker at night.......it makes you think you should be already in bed and it is only 8pm.

We took some time on Saturday and did some hiking around the river that runs straight through town.  One of the wonders of this area is you have the woods within just a 15 minute drive.  It really was the perfect day, one I will not soon forget.

A friend of mine this summer helped me to move my Clematis from the side of the garage to its new home in the rock garden.  It was so emotionally hard to cut it so far back but I am happy to report that it is growning!  I am looking forward to seeing it next spring.

Where does time go anyway?

I just can't figure it out. Time, it just flies by.

The LOAD challenges have been going well for me. To date I have created over 30 pages in 19 days, which for me is a record. The reason the number is so high is I'm choosing to do layouts that I need to do for each of my children's albums all at once. It is a system that seems to be working for me and it is making me extremely happy to watch pages come together. Yes, I know there are a few days that are missing. I didn't do a few days just because I needed to not feel like I was rushed to post.

Day 12......Prompt: To use a title of who you are, a business card on the layout or to just do what you want. I chose to do what I wanted to work on. These photos of my children are some of my favorites. My two youngest were 18 months old and 3 years old, they were afraid of the sprinkler. Their two older sisters put a stop to that fear by showing them how to hold the sprinkler so you could get everyone wet. The key here is they didn't know the photos were being taken until much later in the event. Gotta love a good telephoto lens!

Day 13......Prompt: What one word holds meaning for you right now. The word that holds meaning for me right now is home. It took me quite some time to feel like this was actually my home. The love for it came slowly and I love being here now. The second page to this will be of pictures of the house with our stuff moved in. I just need to be able to get it looking nice for at least a day or two.

Day 14.......Prompt: What color do you feel like scrapping? Greens and Blues are some of my favorite colors. My scrapbook corner is done in these colors just because they make me so happy. So that is what led me to finish up the other half of the layout set from Day 12.

Day 17.......Prompt: Do a page for you, happy colors, favorite products or photo you love. I've always loved this photo. It was taken about 6 weeks before I found out I was pregnant with our son. We hadn't had a family photo done in such a long time that family was complaining. This would also be the last time I ever purchased 11x14 photos. I cut this one down to 9x9 to make it a little more manageable. I paired it with a casual family photo taken two years before this. It will be placed next to the family photo done earlier this month because the paper colors go together.

Here I go


I'm plugging right along on the LOAD. The last couple of days I've struggled but have been pushing through.


Day 5.......Prompt: Fall colors. My two younger children playing in the leaves with their Great Grandpa. Pretty special photos!



Day 6......Prompt: Do something on your layout you have never done before. I've always wanted to print on a transparency. This was a lot of fun!!


If you like to visit other blogs for inspiration you may want to head over to Fabulously Artsy. She is doing a blogfest all month long, talk about some good talent. Enjoy!!

Layout a Day

Day 1.....I blinked. Prompt: To create a layout with Cardstock, patterned paper, letters and one embellishment. I have so many photos of my daughter Angela that are not scrapbooked I thought it would be only fitting to use some in her wedding album.

Day 2......Companion layout to the above. Prompt: What did you do this summer? We got ready for a wedding!

Happy September!

The back deck is finished and just in time! We had a rain storm the day after I finished painting, not bad timing if I do say so myself.

Back deck before painting:

Back deck after painting:

My oldest daughter is here now with her soon to be husband and they brought along his 3 year old son. For the first day the house was in an uproar, pour little guy didn't want to be out of daddy's sight and wasn't even really sure what he wanted. He was so tired! He is now fitting in very well to his surroundings, loves going up and down stairs and LOVES the tramoline! So all is good in the McDonald house.

Family from out of state has arrrived to join in the days before the wedding excitement. Having family here is just what I need, it helps me to remember what this weekend is all about. I'm far more relaxed than I exspected to be and it is so nice. Bruce is on vacation this week, which makes life so much sweeter.

Today is our last full day of just relaxing, no real agenda. Honestly, I've tried really hard to set goals for the things that need to be done on a daily basis and leaving our afternoon/evenings free to do whatever. Tomorrow and Thursday we purchase the food we need for Saturday. Thursday we also do our baking of the wedding cake and cupcakes, followed on Friday by frosting everything. I just hope I am going to be able to keep everyone's fingers out of the frosting!!

Busy, Busy, Busy

With all things wedding! Even though there has been so much to do I am having a real good time. It is super fun to watch my daughter's ideas come together. I feel totally blessed that she is allowing me to help her.

I believe except for the food we will be making for the wedding reception I'm almost done purchasing things. Which is wonderful feeling! Not to much cooking to be done strictly because we are keeping it small, under 30 people plus making it a potluck reception. We are making cupcakes and a 6" cake instead of a large wedding cake which will help in the dollar department. When you don't have a lot of freezer or storage space you have to make do somehow. The week before the wedding will be filled with baking, baking and more baking!!

The flowers are purchased and waiting to be put into bouquet and archway. I was not sure of Angela's color choices but they are beautiful and bright. More to come.......

Just can't believe it

3 weeks and school is going to be out! My son will be taking driver's ed so watch your roads for a student driver that thinks he is driving in a video game. We have been trying to take him driving at least 3 times a week and I'm happy to say he is soooo much better!! I'm even proud of myself for not being white knuckled and trying to push my foot into the passenger floor board. By summer's end he'll probably have his license and he'll be able to drive himself to 7am Marching band camp!

Speaking of Marching band, Mt. Spokane traveled last weekend to Vancouver, B.C for the Heritage Music Festival. The Marching band took first place in all 5 divisions of competition!! All the hard work and long hours throughout the year paid off. The group this year has many new incoming freshman so it is wonderful that they are doing so well.

I shared a little that I am finding my muse return. I'm so happy and thought I would take the time to show you what has sparked my creativity. First indulge me as I give you a little bit of history about me. I've always been creative. I can remember many of the special kits at Christmas time from family, that would allow you to make flowers, clay things, etc.(Do you have a favorite you remember?) I remember even trying to make my own clay from flour, baby powder and water. My mom was so mad that I had made a complete mess of the top of my dresser, from mixing everything. I learned that it was fun making a mess but you have to clean up after yourself.....lol. I always loved to draw and doodle. In high school I took an art class and enjoyed myself so much. That is where I fell in love with colored pencils, watercolors and shading. When I told my parents that I wanted to produce art they were to supportive so my drawing never went any further. Almost 16 years ago I picked up my first rubber stamp and I was able to get back to what I loved to do, color. I have always wanted to learn to draw faces so when SuziBlu opened up her Petite Dolls for beginners I found myself getting nervous. She is a gracious teacher, full of life and so willing to help in anyway she can to help you feel better about yourself in general and as an artist. So this is what I have been up to, learning to draw these fun little dolls that really aren't meant to look like anyone. Full of mixed media which I have found to be part of my muse, which I already knew because of my love of scrapbooking.

So without further ado may I introduce to you my Petite Dolls...........My princess and king with a little close up of the princess face.

Then my beautiful mermaid with lots of her friends by her side. Hope you enjoyed seeing into a little bit of my life right now. I'm sure I will be making more dolls as time goes by. They are quite addicting!! Please do not use any part of my dolls without permission, thanks.

This is what it's all about

I learned something again this week. I say again because I have been a mom for 23 years and in that time I have learned many things from my own children.

This past weekend I learned how my knowledge of creative things turned into a finished school project for my youngest daughter. I've helped with school projects before but not like this. I took a special Valentine class from Wilna last month and it was so much fun. One of the days she taught us how to make our own book and I was able to pass on the information to my daughter.

Her assignment was to write, illustrate and make her own children's story book. She did such a great job! All I had to do is get her started and let her go. The assignment wasn't due until Tuesday but she took it to school on Monday to show her friends. Let's just say that it was the talk of her class. One of the other things I found special in this project was her dedication.......

It just makes my heart swell with this wonderful love in knowing I've done something right in this world. In case you can't read it and because I don't know how upload my pictures so you can make the photo bigger: "I dedicate this children's book to my mother. She is an amazing woman and I honor her for all she had done. I thank her for all the help and support she's given me. She helped me find my passion."

It has taken me days to put my thoughts about this down into writing. As a mother you hope for the best for your children, you hope they make the right choices for their lives but most of all you hope they learn from you. Sometimes you never really know for sure if you are even noticed or if what you do or have done really makes that much of a difference? You question everything you have ever done in hopes of understanding what you might need to change. You wait for the times like this, like a teenage girl waits by the phone for a boy to call. Most of the time when it happens it catches you off guard, you find yourself humbled and speechless. That is where I have been the last few days.


When I was growing up I never really had a good relationship with my own mother, there were things that stood in the way of that. I have been able to take where I have come from and create a special bond with my children, while still being the mother that I needed to be. Not always loved, not always seeing eye to eye on things, not always seeming to be fair but when it comes down to it.......they come back with a little more willingness to understand.


Michaela, Your words mean the world to me. They make me so happy that I can't do anything but cry when I think of them. YOU are an amazing young lady! I am so happy God chose me as your Momma and to help you find your passion. I love you forever and always. XO

A bit of sharing

Valentine's Day weekend was a quiet beautiful and I even spent a little time creating! I sent my Valentine postcards, to his office starting the first few days of February and then tucked them other places too. It was so much fun to make sure that he knows that he is so loved. Valentine's Day itself brought to me a very special and creative Valentine. So what do you think? I think he did far better than flowers or chocolate! It took a lot of red food coloring and it got covered up by snow later in the morning but at least I got a picture!! In case you can't make out what it says...Bruce -N- Juel..........I sure love him! His hands were red and I think my weed sprayer will be showing signs of it for a long time to come.

To his lovey postcards I made him this special cup, which took me until last week to finish. It was a lot of fun! Just super time consuming. I used a tall Starbucks Christmas cup and made a holder out of it. Added some Basic Grey Bittersweet papers with embellishments and more mushy stuff on the backs of the cards.

Just over two weeks and my oldest Daughter Angela will be here. So very excited! I hope we all will get along living together, it has been a while! I'm working moving things around the garage to make room for her stuff. It feels good to come to a place where you can start to let go of a few more things that you don't need. I think I am going to be up for a garage sale or maybe just a blog sale? Hhhmmmm, I'll have to think about that one.

Happy Happy Birthday

Today is my oldest daughter Angela's Birthday, she is 23!! I remember the day I was in the hospital with her, wondering what my life was going to be with her in my life. Wondering what she was going to become and realizing my life would never be the same.

I hope you had a terrific day and a great week, sweetheart! You have turned out to be a pretty awesome young women. Many blessings to you!!

Merry Christmas!

Where ever you are and whatever you are doing the next few days. May your Christmas be all that you want it to be and more. Be blessed, be safe and remember this little baby born on this day to be the savior of the world. May that message alone, bring you to a new deep understanding of how much He loves YOU!

Living in the presence

I got to see my Grandbabies a couple of weeks ago. It was wonderful to love on them. I'm thankful that I had these pictures taken even if they are kinda silly. They are the last ones I will have of them with me for a long time. The day before Thanksgiving my daughter, with her husband and children left without telling anyone where they were going. I'm not going to go into anything but just to say it is a mess. I will miss them.

So I'm trying my best to live in the present. Take care of things that I can take care of. Doing my best to not stress out because it seems like everything is so heavy.

Creating time
My youngest daughter's birthday was this week. I made this banner for her and hung it in her bathroom so she could see it first thing in the morning. She was pretty excited. Then it was off to her school to decorate her locker. Compete with her favorite altoids. I love it when I surprise my children, it is so much fun!! Happy Birthday Sweetheart!! I know this year is different because of living in a new place. I still hope you had fun and enjoyed the lemon bars!! You are ALWAYS my JOY!!

Whirlwind

That is what seems to be happening around here! A whirlwind of happenings, we had out of town guests over the weekend. So much fun!! No agenda other than to just relax, enjoy each others company, play a few board games, and hit the Spokane's Pig Out in the Park. They city takes Riverfront park and divides it into sections, adding food booths and stages for music. I tell you what, going with a group of people is the way to go. You end up spending less on
food when you all are sharing what you buy!! The kids road the Carousel which they haven't done since we visited Spokane 4 years ago. I need to take them again before they close it down for the season, next year they will celebrate 100 years......amazing!! If you like Carousels their site is full of fun information and coloring pages.

The kids are back at school and adjusting to getting up early. Tonight we will be going to our first football game of the season, not because we enjoy football but because Ethen will be marching. It should be a good game as it is with the rival teams of the Mead district. I'm sure there will be a lot of energy!

I'm getting back into my mom routine and finding balance, it is so nice. The only thing I haven't been able to get back to, is my scrap booking. I've felt the pull to do things for months but other stuff has come first. I have plans to take a online class with Wilna, which I have done before and enjoyed so much. If you get a chance, go check it out and take her new class she will be offering soon. The information she gives is worth every penny.

Here's to routine, balance, fun and just living in the moment.

More Moving

Is there anyone in this world that really likes to move? To you I give you a high five! I've decided for me that moving just sucks.

My scrapbook room is 75% complete and these are most of my boxes. Okay, well maybe there are a few missing because they are housed in the garage.......lol. Yes, a lot of stuff but it will be time to do some serious sorting when I set up my new space. I just couldn't do it all before the move, so this just means I will have something big to do over the summer.

So it is official, we own our new home in Spokane, here's to owning two homes at once! Hope that doesn't last long. My step-mom was willing to drive the kids and I up to Spokane on Wednesday. I was just a little freaked out on driving by myself. I know, that I'm going to have to get use to driving it on my own so it was nice of her to be willing to do that. No sight seeing this time except for showing her the house. The kids love it and their rooms. The kids seemed mostly amazed about how green everything was and it really dawned on them that they are going to be 'real' city kids. I feel some ground rules coming on! Any advice?

This is our backyard, complete with trampoline left behind from the previous owners. Kids are voting to keep it, while dear hubby sees it as a emergency room visit waiting to happen. We shall see who wins out by next weekend.



The official moving date starts this upcoming Monday with our first load and the second following on Wednesday. DH thinks I have more than him because I have smaller boxes........hhhhhmmmm, not sure about that one. I did tell him at closing that he doesn't have any room to talk about what I spend on my scrapbooking supplies because of his two BIG hobbies, photography and music.(big amplifiers, guitar toys and at least 5 cameras) I guess we all learn to bend over the years for each other. This is just half of his room!

I will update more when I can. We make the calls to hook up the utilities in the new house today plus get our phone transferred, which means I will more than likely loose my Internet connection for a few days. I just have to remind myself that this to shall pass. I'll be back catching everyone up soon!

Well it has happened!
Today is the day that we have put our house on the market. It still is hard to believe we are leaving here in a few short months, starting on a new adventure. We truly do love it here but sometimes life takes turns and you just have roll with it. That is what we are trying to do, just roll with it!!

I've been cleaning, sorting, throwing and packing. It seems like a never ending job when you have lived somewhere for 10 years!! I do feel a lot lighter in spirit and have been able to let go of more things than I thought I would be able to. I've made 8 car load trips to my local Goodwill.

All last week the kids and I worked on the upstairs, durning their spring break. They worked soooo hard!! I am terribly proud of them. They have been highly rewarded for their efforts.

As you can see the most to busiest rooms in the house look wonderful!! They have even managed to stay that way!!! Now, to finish the family room.

To add to my week.........

we have my youngest sick home from school for two days, to this we add......Granddaughter coming down with her first case of the flu, her Mommy coming down with it too. Thinking everyone was getting better so bring Granddaughter to my house. Only to have Granddaughter start puking again in the middle of the night, to this we add..........going and picking up her Mommy to take her to the hospital for dehrdraion. Getting her back to my house and settled in 3 hours later because no one needs to be alone, with a 5 week old baby when you have the flu. Then we add to the mix again, cat puking on stairs, and son telling me he doesn't feel so hot.

Sigh.......can I just start my week over???

Sometimes in life we are not to ask why........

A week ago today I was having brunch with my step mom and my daughter. We had flown in to see family and spend a glorious week of loving on Grandbabies.

It was a week ago today that my step brother Gregory decided to end his life. It is in this that you DO question why, why did he feel that he couldn't change? Why did he choose of all places my house? Such much selfishness comes into play. He said that he knew the pain that was coming for all of us, but that he was just to lazy to change. You just don't know whether to be mad or sad.



I tried so hard to make him relize that he just wasn't my step brother. We were flesh and blood and to me that is the biggest thing. I didn't care if we only had the same Dad, it really didn't matter to me. He was my brother and always will be.
He seemed happier the last few months. Yes, he had tried to end his life two times before this, so when it happened everyone didn't seem so shocked. He would have found a way somehow, it didn't matter. He was just waiting for the right time. His note said that 'the third time is a charm'. I will never use those words ever again.


I truly thank God himself for protecting my children from finding him. I had a very dear friend coming at mid morning to take care of our little dog and cats. She and her husband were the ones that found him, called 911 and my husband. I can not imagine what they saw. I can't take the images away that are in their dreams. Oh how I want too!! I want to make everything okay. Time heals all wounds and I pray that it heals, taking the ugliness with it.

Gregory Lawerence Holmes, I will always love you. Your sister, Juel