Tuesday, October 24, 2006

I'm over 40 and sometimes I just can't understand things. That after these 40 years I can still get wrapped up in disappoint of other people. It is so hard to let go of that disappointment, you hold onto it like it has something of lasting value. You feel as if you let go of it you may just fall apart, not being able to hold yourself together or have others look at you as weak or worse yet....'someone with underlining issues'. I've never been one to be disappointed in my children and the things they choose to do. Those things are their choices in life. However when it comes to people hurting my children's feelings, mine or my husbands, I'm like a mother tiger protecting her young. I want to lash out and give others a piece of my mind. The more and more people disappoint me the further and further away I seem to push them. That way I won't have to deal with any disappointment. I know it isn't anyway to live. I'm trying so hard to let go and be a person of peace. It isn't an easy road to walk and I feel so overwhelmed that I can't even see in front of me.
I'm so thankful that my God is the one who is on the thrown in good times and bad because if He wasn't I wouldn't be worth anything at all.