Monday, April 07, 2014

Pain

Yet again I learned a lesson the last couple of weeks about pain...if any of your teeth are hurting for any reason go to the dentist! 

After my surgery in December my jaw joint was hurting like crazy.  I chalked it up to being under pain, a little stress with the holidays and all the adjustments that have been being made to my schedule so far this year.  Well, with face swelling and pain not going away, even with Tylenol it was time to do something.  Dentist didn't even need to see me before he put me on antibiotics to make it through the weekend until I could get into seeing him the following week.  A couple of x-rays later a root cancel was needed. They got into the damaged tooth only to find 2 more that needed to be done.  So I can tell you this.....3 root cancels in one day isn't fun especially when it has to be taken care of through a crown.  I wouldn't even wish it on my worst enemy!  It turned out that some decay got underneath my crown so today marks the day I go in to have it replaced.

To all of this, you can add two of our cats needing to go in for dental surgery to have a few of their own teeth removed.  Cats teeth actually will rot if they don't fall out and can start causing other issues.  With our oldest Sneakers it showed up in bad scabs on his face.  At least now they are happy cats, overly happy.

Tomorrow I meet with a personal trainer to work on getting in shape so I can just feel good all over.  I sure hope everyone in the house remains healthy for the rest of the year!!    

Tuesday, March 18, 2014

Healing

It sometimes takes so long to heal and it kind of reminds me of winter.  Winter settles in, you wrap yourself up in a nice blanket and you wait to see the growth that is going on underneath.  That is how it has been for me for such a long while.  I have tried to force things but it comes back to me needing to slow down, waiting for my strength to return.  Everyday I am taking steps to take care of myself.  For for someone who has always taken care of others it is a big deal to me.  I've never been good with saying no to people because it is in my nature to help others.  Now it is time for me.

I started this past fall by taking a new Brave Girl class called Soul Comfort.  It was such a good thing for me and it helped me to settle into taking care of myself.  I didn't realize that I had almost forgotten what it was like.  I have had to face how busy I have been with taking care of my Grands full time.  While I love to do it most days and so glad they are part of my life I wasn't taking care of me.

The fall was followed by winter which is still surrounding Spokane with cold temperatures.  Christmas was quiet for me as I was recovering from my surgery for my umbilical hernia, with very little baking taking place.  I sat back and took care of me.  It was some of the worst pain I have ever had.  I depended so much on my family and they were right there making sure my every need was met.  When everyone went back to work/school in January I actually had to remember how to make meals for myself. It took me about 2 weeks to get back into the swing of things.  Slow going, when you aren't suppose to lift over 15 lbs.

I kept myself busy with working on two very special Quiet Books for my two youngest Grands.  Loads of hand work!!  I can say I perfected my blanket stitch!!  As of today I am designing out the covers and will soon be putting the finishing touches on them!  Soul Comfort ended and I was able to win a place in the new Brave Girls class called The Walk.  I am learning so much about myself again and doing so more growing.  This new year has also marked me moving to taking care of my Grands part time.  My daughter has a wonderful man that is in love with her and the children.  They are now blending their two families and expecting another little one come June.

This day I feel blessed and full.  I don't like everything that is going on in the world but my world is good.  Lots to look forward to, challenges to meet head on and people to love.  Really, it can't get any better than that!  Happy New Year everyone and thanks for sticking around!    

Monday, December 23, 2013

I am alive and Merry Christmas

Oh my friends and family how I have missed visiting with you.  Rather than quilt myself into posting, to be a negative Nancy while I was posting, I chose to just rest and take care of myself.  It has felt good so good to focus on taking care of me.  As I write it, it seems awful selfish but trust me sometimes we have to be selfish when it comes to taking care of ourselves.  I have been far to forgetful about myself for way to long.

I have been taking a new course by Melody Ross called Soul Comfort.  We are encouraged to do hard things as well as easy things.  My hard thing was to make a surgery date for my hernia.  I am happy to say that surgery time has past and I am recovering nicely.  It sure does make getting out of bed interesting but I tell you what I am looking forward to not being in pain anymore.  I am even looking forward to going to the gym when I receive my doctors release!  Through this I have learned that I am way stronger physically than I thought I was.  It makes me happy with myself.

This Christmas is going to be a bit different.  Everything around here is low key this year and I am truly okay with that.  I have even scaled back in gift giving which has made me feel pretty darn good.  I have even been able to resist compulsive buying.  I am finally becoming at peace within myself and it is so nice.

To you and your family, Merry Christmas!  Take time for yourself this Christmas, it will make all the difference to those around you because you will be in a good mood.

Sunday, October 27, 2013

Not typical

I am not a typical Grandparent.  I fall into a category of a Grandparent that is helping to raise her Grandchildren, that makes me a statistic.  You add to this that my home is also their home and it throws in a whole new dynamic.  I never wanted to be a statistic.  It has taken me almost two years to grieve over the loss of what I thought being a Grandparent should be.  My daughter and I joke about me being her other half, the reality is I am never going to be able to be her other half.  I can't give her the love she craves or the security she needs for her and the children.

My daughter told me something the other day and it has changed my way of thinking....I am my Grand children's other half.  I am with them everyday, helping to raise them.  When my daughter is at work they are either with me or at school.  My daughter and I have faced our share difficult days of not seeing eye to eye on discipline but I am learning.  We have become a strong unit for the kids and I am able to sit back letting her be the Mom when she is home.   Anyone who knows me, this is a BIG thing!

I am seeing how as parents we grow up with our children and we settle into whatever age they are in.  It is hard to go back to those hard places, when you have settled with being done with having young children around.  Memories flood back when you are in the midst of a 3 year old's tantrum or a 7 year old's attitude.  You start to remember what worked and what didn't.  It makes you feel so worn out. 

One of the things that I don't do well anymore is loud.  I can only put up with it for so long, even the TV gets loud.  I have to constantly remind myself that kids just need to be loud at times and I don't tune things out well.  I seriously just want to scream and most of the time that is what I do on the inside.  I look forward to the quiet of the mornings and the quietness that comes when everyone is fast asleep.  I can finally think, finish a sentence or even a conversation!

In sharing today I just want others that might be facing the same thing that you aren't alone.  It does get better because I am finally seeing it!  It just takes time, more time than some of us would like.  Let's all just hold on for a bit more and see how far we can go. 

Friday, September 06, 2013

Sunrise and Sunset

This week I have seen both a Sunrise, Sunset and two Thunder lighting storms.  It is strange how they calm me and I think sometimes you can forget how beautiful they are.  Last night was one of those storms.  Our new princess of the house was so scared.  I wrapped her up in a blanket holding her for 20 minutes.  Then this morning she climbed up onto my chest while I was drinking my coffee.  Pure Bliss I tell you.

This week was the start of school for the Grands so I only have one at home now.  Tell you what....this little one is a firecracker and can talk so much when no one is around.  We are all getting into a routine and I'm looking forward to next week to just keep working on it. 

I've also been working on cleaning up my corner, which has needed it for so long.  To many days of just not putting the little things away, then before you know it you feel so overwhelmed you turn around and walk back out.  So I decided to not walk out!  Slow going but it will feel good to just be able to just walk in and play.  My space also shares a spot where I pay my bills.  I haven't quite got that worked out yet but it is getting better. 

Tuesday, August 27, 2013

A little bit of sunshine

For quite awhile now I have been praying for another kitten.  It has been pretty difficult to fight the urge since my son works at Pet Smart!  He sends me countless pictures of these precious babies and then comes home talking about them.(not to mention the puppies!!)  Every time he gets that Oh but they are so cute tone in his voice my husband says NO WAY!  NO MORE Kitties!  

We have 2 beautiful babies....Sneakers, a Light Grey Turkish Angora  and is 9 years old.  Then Archie short for Archimedes is a mix of some sort Dark Grey with White and is 6 years old.  They fight rough and tough some days.  Reminds me of the old cartoons that you see of two cats fighting and fur flying.  They are lovey and social.  I never met any other cats like them.


So when I visited the pet adoption place at my son's work over a month ago I saw this beautiful little girl kitten.  I told my husband but of course he coined his favorite word NO!  Then this past weekend he was picking up our son from work since his car is in the shop right now.  He saw her, without any prompting from me and fell in love.  He came home talking in a little boy voice, telling me about this cute little girl he saw and how she was playing with him.  Ah yes, little Margarita stole my husbands heart right then and there.  I went to the store Sunday night but the adoption center was already closed for the day.  She is a year old and a Turkish Angora with Green eyes.



So the day finally came that I never really thought would happen.  He said YES and yesterday I brought her home.  I am in love, she has stolen everyone's heart.  She is not hissing and growling much at her brothers now.  Late last night before I went to bed she crawled up onto my chest and started purring.  I think I may have wiped a few tears away, as I started to pet her and cuddle.  On a side note, when you have a one year old in the house everyone talks in funny voices!  lol    

Sunday, August 25, 2013

Storms

I can sit here in my chair and can think about everyone storm I have faced in my life.  Boy, some of them have been pretty ugly so full of darkness.  The kind you wonder if you will ever see the light at the end of the tunnel.  Then you just see a speck of light, just piece to give you hope.

Right now my house is quiet except for a movie someone is watching in a different part of the house.  However, right outside the thunder and lightening storm the weather man has been promising for days now has just moved in.  I've missed them all because they have come in the middle of the night this summer.  Tonight though, I think I am going to embrace the storm and let it wash away the pain that I have been feeling in my heart the last few weeks.