Have you ever just felt in your heart that something was going to happen but there was really no explaining why you felt that way? I've been in that place for months. After several losses this fall my family is facing yet another one, my wonderful husband was laid off. No, we didn't see this coming, far from it actually. In the midst of this happening I am away from home.
Over a month ago I booked a flight to Omaha, Nebraska to come sort through my Mom's things. The trip was a special gift from my beautiful Step Mom, she is so awesome! I will be forever grateful to her and my friends for pushing me to do this. I didn't want to go, didn't want to be away from my family especially the last week of school before winter break. For my kids it seems to always be the worst...hard days getting out of bed, finals and the lack of motivation to do any school work at all. I'll be honest that I have been suffering from lack of motivation to, so I have been able to feel there frustration.
I flew in almost a week ago, spent the afternoon with my Dad, Jay and my nephew Brayden(he has turned into a nice young man!). I asked my Dad what he wanted to accomplish in the days that I was here. Go through Mom's stuff and decide where her things should go. I tell you what, somethings have been easier than others! My heart pulls to things that she had already gifted, maybe out of my own selfish reasons of wanting to pass them onto my own children.
One brother Jason lives here in NE with his beautiful wife Jessica and my brother Jonathan, my niece Myriah and her son Tanner flew in on Saturday. The weekend was then filled with sorting and tears. I don't know what I was expecting but it wasn't this. I didn't figure for the first time in my life I would actually feel, really feel like the big sister. People were looking to me for the answers, hope I have made the right ones. I will share my treasures with you when I get home, right now I need to keep them in my heart for just a bit longer.
It amazes me the journey that has been opened up to me this year. Learning, creating and believing in myself more than ever before. I can feel my world changing and for the first time in my life I am NOT scared but joyful for it. A little nervous but a good nervous!! Hold on world and watch out cause here I come.....forever changed. I like to think of life as a storm....sometimes raging, sometimes calm but refreshing. Even in the midst of it there is always some type of peace.....have you noticed that? Have you ever taken the time in the midst of your storm to see life? It gives you a better perspective, try it.