February.....the little old ground hog didn't see his shadow so this means an early spring. Oh how I hope so! I am ready for the smell of freshly turned dirt that comes with spring. You know the smell, it is when those flowers start pushing up their heads trying to find the sky and the warmth of the sun. That is where I kind of feel I am right now, trying to push my authentic self to the surface. I truly feel a heavy weight baring down on me and it has been making me angry. Angry because I just can't figure it out, if it is one thing or a combination of things. I want to get quiet so I can figure it all out but my house is anything but quiet.
The only thing that seems to help is making art but I've always known this. It is really hard to let myself go when I create strictly because I am a perfectionist. Yes, little ole me, liking things a certain way all the time. I am trying to remember that I don't need to be perfect but in my head right now I seem to not be doing much right these days. I know it is a perspective thing. Trust me I am trying to relax and just let things go. It just leaves me tired and then my outlook isn't very good. I am taking advantage of the days that my daughter doesn't work until later in the day and that is helping. Slowly I am figuring things out just sometimes I wish it could be faster. Then I have to remember if it was faster maybe it wouldn't stick with me.
Happy Valentine's Day and may you be blessed beyond measure!!