Monday, June 10, 2013

It's a New Day

A day of facing that you aren't always going to have your act together.  That some days are just plain awful but to not wallow in self pity because if you allow yourself to stay there you will be eaten alive.

There have been more than a few things going on in my life BUT like I have felt in the past a shifting.  No more just sitting around just waiting for things to change.  If I sit and wait I will not be happy. 

I read this blog post yesterday from Melody Ross.  I can so relate and felt she was writing things from my heart.  I have even had a very special friend of mine tell me that when things aren't right in my world I go into hiding.  It seems I have been in that place for quite awhile.  I sit here trying to analyze things, trying to understand people and things around me.  Most of all trying to fix things myself and to get out of this rut or ditch I feel that I am in.  Just like Melody I have wanted to hide out until it gets better or goes away.  That fact is, it isn't going to go away quickly and it has taken me embracing this ditch to come to terms with that fact.  It is amazing to me that when you embrace something that little by little it becomes easier to step out into the things that are more positive. 

One of the things I have been doing is making small things huge thinking if I do that somehow I can grasp onto my Mom.  Yep, there I said of the many things on my heart.  She is gone and isn't coming back.  I have been missing her so much the last few months.  Part of the grief process I know but hard all the same.  I sometimes feel alone, then I remember I am not.  I have a God that gives me grace everyday and fills me up when I am at the end of me.  Family that loves me despite the emotional roller coaster I seem to be on.

Today I am tired of of hiding out and am going to take care of my soul.  It is time to take care of me.

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