Life

Life just keeps going, each day passes brings new life.  When I made the decision last fall to have my hernia surgery I gave myself permission to take care of me.  I haven't always done the best job of that...self care.  Deciding to take this year to take care of me in all things hasn't been easy.  Sometimes I am scared of the words that come from my mind so much so that I can push them away telling myself that I don't have time to think about them.  The reality is in doing that I have hurt part of myself.  It took me saying yes to self care to understand that.  I have not wanted to face the disappointment I have had with myself in so many areas.  I have realized though that if it wasn't well with my soul that there was going to be no way I could be okay with anything else in my life.  Now I know their is no going back to change things but I can change where I am now.  That is the kind of change that I am learning to be okay with.  Somewhere the last couple of years I stopped choosing to be happy.  It was like I was slowly drowning and I couldn't get any air no matter how much I knew I shouldn't take on other peoples stuff.  How could I be happy if others around me weren't?  I let so much effect everything in my life.  Since my last post I feel like I am coming out of a deep fog.  I can see things a little bit clearer now and life is getting ready to change again for me.  All is good and I am learning what over flowing joy is all about.  I'm doing my best to embrace it!  I hope you will come back to visit.