A journey

My journey hasn't been easy the last couple of years.  I have shared bits and pieces of my struggles but ya, know what?  I was doing a pretty good job of hiding from myself, while hiding from others.  When you see yourself for who you really are it is almost like you see yourself as a fraud.  I can surely preach or give my advice to just about anyone but when it comes to doing it for myself...ya whole other story.  Boy, am I good with stories, especially the ones I make up in my head!  Do you create stories in your head?  You might find this POST enlightening. I know I did when I heard the concept at Brave Girls Camp when I went in September!

See this year marks my 50th birthday and I chose this year to take care of myself in every area.  Learning to say "NO" when I wanted to say "YES" because I truly didn't want to let anyone down.  You would think after 30 years of learning this concept I would actually know how to do it without pain to myself.  I am a peacemaker and well peacemakers are about creating other peoples peace not one's own.  Sometimes, we allow people to walk on us like a doormat and before we know it we are dirty with everyone dirty and grim.

Seriously it is hard to say "NO" and it makes my soul hurt.  Then something happens, you see that their is a bigger plan in play than you ever thought possible.  That is what I LOVE seeing and hearing about.  So I am going to try to remember that my "NO" might just be a "YES" for another person.