Sunday, March 30, 2008

Time

Time goes by so fast anymore, sometimes I just can't believe it. This past month since my brothers death seem to be just a blurr. I've done so many things but then can't really tell you what I've done! The days of the week just get lost and I'm constantly looking at my calendar to make sure I don't miss important appointments.

Cleaning and sorting my house is what is happening. The goal is to be ready by the end of next weekend to list the house for sale. I'm letting go of things that I can easily replace and having a chance to consolidate my other craft stuff. I've realized through all of this how much stuff I've learned over the years. I've tried so many things but FINALLY found what I LOVE!! My scrapbooking, it is my life and I'm always excited about it.

So the goal this week of Spring break with my kids, is to finish the garage, and start the process of going threw my scrapbookroom. At least the iris drawers I use can be packed the way they are for the most part. Then when it comes to moving I can just tape the drawers shut. That will make moving day so much easier!!

So to those who visit my blog, do you have any suggestions for moving? Things I need to avoid doing? or maybe things you would have done different in your move of your scrapbookroom?

Monday, March 17, 2008

Calm in the midst of the storm.......

It has been 4 weekends since we as a family have had a quiet weekend. Between people being gone(me on my trip), my brother's death, and everyone getting the flu it just hasn't been very relaxing. Coming off of all this has left me emotional. I would like nothing better than to be able to just let things go for awhile and do my own thing.

However that can't happen, we now face my husbands promotion with needing to sell the house.(we do have a potential buyer, hope it works out!!) Finding a new house in North Spokane, moving, getting the kids into their new school, new doctors, new dentist.........it is hard to remain calm. Sometimes I swear I feel like I'm going to loose my mind!!

Then I feel the calmness and peace which allows me to concentrate on the tasks at hand.

Friday, March 07, 2008

To add to my week.........

we have my youngest sick home from school for two days, to this we add......Granddaughter coming down with her first case of the flu, her Mommy coming down with it too. Thinking everyone was getting better so bring Granddaughter to my house. Only to have Granddaughter start puking again in the middle of the night, to this we add..........going and picking up her Mommy to take her to the hospital for dehrdraion. Getting her back to my house and settled in 3 hours later because no one needs to be alone, with a 5 week old baby when you have the flu. Then we add to the mix again, cat puking on stairs, and son telling me he doesn't feel so hot.

Sigh.......can I just start my week over???

Monday, March 03, 2008

Sometimes in life we are not to ask why........

A week ago today I was having brunch with my step mom and my daughter. We had flown in to see family and spend a glorious week of loving on Grandbabies.

It was a week ago today that my step brother Gregory decided to end his life. It is in this that you DO question why, why did he feel that he couldn't change? Why did he choose of all places my house? Such much selfishness comes into play. He said that he knew the pain that was coming for all of us, but that he was just to lazy to change. You just don't know whether to be mad or sad.



I tried so hard to make him relize that he just wasn't my step brother. We were flesh and blood and to me that is the biggest thing. I didn't care if we only had the same Dad, it really didn't matter to me. He was my brother and always will be.
He seemed happier the last few months. Yes, he had tried to end his life two times before this, so when it happened everyone didn't seem so shocked. He would have found a way somehow, it didn't matter. He was just waiting for the right time. His note said that 'the third time is a charm'. I will never use those words ever again.


I truly thank God himself for protecting my children from finding him. I had a very dear friend coming at mid morning to take care of our little dog and cats. She and her husband were the ones that found him, called 911 and my husband. I can not imagine what they saw. I can't take the images away that are in their dreams. Oh how I want too!! I want to make everything okay. Time heals all wounds and I pray that it heals, taking the ugliness with it.

Gregory Lawerence Holmes, I will always love you. Your sister, Juel