Thursday, March 01, 2012

Old habits....

You have to be careful that you don't fall into them.  The reality is they can sneak up on you.  You can fall into a habit you haven't had in years!  Then boom, you sit there wondering why you are so angry at yourself.  Ya, I am right there........

For the last four years I have had my husband at home very night except for a handful of times.  Prior years he was gone on a Monday and home on a Thursday, we made that schedule work for 8 years.  If there is anything I have learned the last four years is how much of a friend I have in my husband.  He completes me and I truly miss him when he is gone.  When he was laid off in December 2011, we were calm and knew things would work out.  That is the way it has always been, God always has had a plan even when you think He doesn't.  This job is one that only comes along once in a lifetime and he will be gone a lot.  In this season I am finding myself fighting an old habit of feeling on the outside of his life, even though I am right in it.  I know him being away from home is far from glamorous but I can't help think I am missing out.  I miss my best friend.

The life I am living right now could have been lonely but instead I have my daughter and three grandbabies here to share in my nest.  Sometimes I feel drained, stretched thin and feel like I can't handle one more question from the little ones.  It is at that time God takes me right back to reminding me that He will never give me more than I can handle.  He trusts me to help care for, love and to assist my daughter in the raising of her beautiful babies.  What an awesome gift I have been given.........but question......anything I can do about not having to do so much laundry?? This is just one week's worth for 8 people!!  

So long to my old self and to leaving an old habit behind more believing I am on the outside.  Here is to doing to what my heart has known from the day I met him almost 30 years ago....he will forever be the love of my life.

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