I have spent hours looking at this blank page trying to figure out where to start and reading over past posts because honestly I can't seem to remember everything I have shared this year.  Looking back it isn't much and pretty vague.  I've felt I needed to be in that place, a place of silence.  I didn't want to be silent really, it just seemed like the right thing.

This past week marked a year that this beautiful lady left this world, she was 16 - 18 years old in this photo.  Countless times over the course of the year I found myself picking up the phone to call her or overcome with a sadness.  It has been harder than I thought it would be.  I thought that after Mom died that my brothers would be better at keeping in touch with me but that hasn't happened.  I will take responsibility for my actions.  I could be doing more to keep in touch myself but there are only so many hours in the day.  Most of those hours are taken up with caring full time for my beautiful Grandbabies, this is something I do not regret.  When you pray to God and ask Him to take care of your children, saying you will do anything it takes to help, you open yourself up to where I am at.  There are things you have to let go of so you can function daily, for me making extended family connections has been one of those things.  I have never want to force myself on my brothers, nagging them to call me more often.  I LOVE them and I am complete when I am with them.  They are missing out on so much of my beautiful life, hopefully some day they will really let me into theirs.

The fall has given way to cooler temperatures and the clouds have moved in.  It seems they have been sticking around for days with only little breaks for sunshine.  Our October has been as busy as usual with Marching Band season and it was glorious.  So proud of each and everyone of the kids especially my daughter Michaela for her hard work, dedication and sacrifices she has made as head drum major.  If you would like to see the video of their final performance, click here.  Enjoy!!

10 things I love right now!!

Here is to the month of October, taking time to finish and publish 10 things on the 10th!  Amazing I know! 

1. Cooler weather, peri-menopause and I don't seem to be getting along these days.  The cooler weather does wonders!

2.  The quiet time before everyone gets up in the morning.  I will NEVER take that for granted!

3.  My blog, even if it is neglected right now.   

4.  You wonderful people that keep coming back to check what I'm up too.

5.  Fall leaves and each one of the colors that are showing right now.

6.  The chance to take a break from the garden.  I need to be able to not feel guilty for letting it take a backseat right now.

7.  Banana Bread and Blueberry scones

8.  White Chocolate Mocha's and looking forward to Egg Nog Lattes

9.  Having the healing release of drawing Petite Dolls, I have close to 12 waiting to come to life 

10.  My children, being able to realize that they have all turned out pretty darn good.

Happy Fall

I sit here in amazement really on how fast time goes.  It is now October, the weather is changing getting cooler and this weekend starts Marching Band season for our family.  The bamd kids have been practicing since August and it is looking to be a wonderful show.  I might be a little bias since my youngest daughter Michaela is the head Drum Major.  She has been through so much especially this past year and I am just so happy that she is in a better place, so this can be a part of her life.

 This summer I finally found a couple of pieces of furniture that meet our needs in our familyroom.  This is the one that holds all our DVD/VHS's , it was a total spare of the moment purchase but one that has managed to clean things up pretty nicely.  I'm just so excited about it.  This piece also holds an emotional thing for me, it helps to remind me that I CAN refrain from spending.  That if I spend less I will have more for those special things that come along.  I am VERY proud of myself, one little step at a time.

Thank you for sticking around while I have been working some stuff out.  I do appreciate everyone of you who come to visit.