Yesterday turned into an emotional busy day, that in the long run was full of good. Anything can happen when you are in counseling especially when it is with family. You almost leave the room not even remembering everything. It does come back once you are rested, it leaves you with a good reflecting time. Time to think and be able to stand firm in the words you yourself spoke.
I have promised my daughter that I will never share on this blog, what she is feeling and the things she says. I have to rebuild. So in my journey you will hear about me, my story not anything having to do with my daughter. She will be weaved in as part of the general story but her words are her own, not mine. I do believe in speaking the words we need to speak even if they sometimes hurt others. If we weren't honest with others how will we be able to be honest with ourselves. So I know this is going to be hard to write from just one side but I am going to do my best.
In family counseling you are told to use the words 'I feel", 'I think', basically the 'I' sentences or words. It really helps you to take ownership to what is going on in your own head. Usually what ends up happening is everyone ends up seeing somehow where they personally have done something wrong in communication.
My husband and I have never been afraid to work hard at things. We did a lot of hard work when we reconciled our marriage 13 years ago. It had come to a fork in the road and we decided to stay together. I do remember a friend of mine at the time asking me what I wanted, did I want to stay or not. Could it be that simple to just decide something? To decide that you don't care how hard you have to work. It was time to do something together and do the work that had to be done. I have never looked back since that day. I can tell you the people around us at the time, didn't like what we were doing. They told me I should have kicked him to the curb but where would that have taken me? Not to mention my children. I had women tell me they could have never done what I did. Well, ya know what all I did is what God asks each of us to do.....live a life of forgiveness and grace.
Seems to be a pattern in my life forgiveness and grace. I'm even learning to extend that to myself, it is pretty awesome. When you learn these things you tend to not get stuck in your past. You are able to walk upright so if you are ever put into a place where you are seeking family counseling that you can take responsibility for your actions. It really does leave you feeling pretty good about yourself.